Dust in the Wind

My daughters used to call the people I talked to online my "imaginary friends." In some ways, that's pretty accurate, since bloggers and others on social media often use nyms and fake photos, not to mention spinning all sorts of fairy tales to get attention. Do we really ever know our online correspondents? Of course, the same could be said for people we meet in "real" life. Maybe we know their names and what they actually look like, but plenty of people lie and misrepresent themselves in a variety of ways. I'm not even talking about dating sites! I could, ha ha, but I'm not. Just people in general, saying one thing and doing another... a story as old as time.

Sometimes though, we do make "real" friends online, even when we've never met in person. I think many of my current readers fall into this category, since we've known each other for so long and have revealed so much of ourselves through our writing. My friend H is in this category; I "met" her way back when on Usenet, at a time I was feeling really low. She's been a good friend to me ~ she's someone who really knows how to listen. And I hope I've been as good of a friend to her. We have communicated publicly and privately for decades, sometimes at a feverish pace, while other times months will pass without a word. When we start chatting again, it's like no time has passed at all, sort of how you feel with best friends and close family members. I have noted that I view her as a sister ~ I'm certainly closer to H than to the half-sister I've never met or spoken with.

H contacted me the other day to let me know that our mutual friend A had died. I had also "met" A ages ago on Usenet. He was an irascible sort of fellow, with lots of edgy opinions and aggressive takes on current events, to such a degree that he might have come across as a misanthropist. Despite all that, A and I became friends "behind the scenes." We both respected that we had many differences of opinion, but we admired each other's intelligence and the way in which we each expressed ourselves. It's been over a year since there was any word from A, and I assumed he'd wandered off from his blog on one of his breaks and would return at some point to regale us with his new adventures.

Sadly, no. A died last year in a tragic accident around 10 days after his last blog post. 

I will miss him.