Bonus Day Bachelorette

We decided to push our panda trip back a couple weeks because it's simply too hot today to enjoy the zoo. The animals will probably just loaf in the shade and not play as no one has any energy for moving around when it's over 90 degrees. Since I had planned to be away from home all day, it feels like I have a "bonus day" to do whatever I please. So far, I've gone to Trader Joe's and painted a tree. I know I said that I would be taking more risks in my art and "branching" out from trees, but this is not any old tree. It's a tricky night tree in the moonlight, and there's water too. The piece needs a bit of touching up, and then I'll take a pic and post it on the 'gram.

In the meantime, we can talk about the Bachelorette 21 season/finale. Please exit now if you don't want to read any spoilers. 

I like Jenn Tran; she's adorable and has a sweet personality. As the season unfolded, I hoped that she wasn't a phony like Gerry the Golden Bachelor and would find the love she sought. Welp, I got half that wish: Jenn wasn't a phony... but unfortunately some of the contestants were, in particular the one she proposed to at the end, Devin. I was so bummed to see Jenn sobbing on the stage as she recounted the specifics of their breakup to the host Jesse and the entire world, but I wasn't entirely surprised. I had never liked Devin. Since I had read a spoiler that she would end up with him, I tried to like him. I told myself it was OK that he was pushy and didn't get along with the other guys because Jenn wanted a "ferocious" love ~ and he was giving her that by being super focused on spending every second he could with her, even if that meant being obnoxious.

It turned out however that Devin was an attention-seeking jerk who had no intention of following through on his promises to Jenn. I was right to dislike him initially, even though my reasons were more personal: I hate drama. Anyone who is involved in drama, even if it appears they are a victim of it, sends up a red flag to me (like Maria from the Bachelor 28 season). Now, that's not really a good litmus test for a reality show, I understand, since it's likely many of the contestants and the stars themselves are chosen by the producers because they have edgier personalities, but it's my personal deal-killer. I have found in my many decades of experience that certain people are drama-magnets, embroiled in conflict wherever they go, and it's best to stay far away from them, romantically or otherwise. Since several of the other men warned Jenn about Devin, I took that as a sign he was bad news; unfortunately, some of those men were bad news too, so Jenn discounted their opinions. Jenn also had some insecurities that hindered her from taking any advice: she wanted to decide everything herself since in the past she'd been too passive. She was hypersensitive about being told anything, and I get that, but it turns out that others can sometimes see things we overlook.

Jenn said she was in love with Marcus as the season wound down, and it seemed that if she had truly followed her heart, she would have held out for him to come around. Maybe he never would have, but by pushing him to say ILY before he was ready, she ended up pushing him away. Despite knowing that an engagement "waited" at the end of the show, Marcus didn't feel he was there yet, though he said a few times he could "see himself" getting there with Jenn. Two months simply isn't long enough for some people to develop the feeling of everlasting love, and you might not know that about yourself at the beginning of the process. Honestly, I can't see myself ever getting there again, though at various stages of my life, it happened quickly, within a week, yikes. Point is, you can't predict exactly how your emotions are going to blossom, or not, when you enter a new situation with new people. We are not robots, beep boop.

Jenn couldn't deal with Marcus' uncertainty and went for Devin's love-bombing approach. That was a mistake, of course, in hindsight. Never go for the love-bomber! It's a classic sign of a narcissist. Devin behaved exactly like a narcissist when he went on stage at the end as well, never really apologizing or explaining anything, and just being an all-round dick. I've read some criticism of the show in that they made Jenn sit through all that publicly, but she probably was contractually bound to do it, and from what I understand the B's make around $100K for their stint on the show. No one forces you to sign that contract, and to her credit Jenn has not complained about it either. She knew what she was getting into.

I'm a bit confused about Jonathan. Jenn loved Marcus, and she loved that Devin was love-bombing her, so I get why she invited them both to Fantasy Suites (where the couple stays overnight in a fancy hotel room, and we assume they have sex), but she didn't feel that strongly about Jonathan... yet he was also invited, only to get immediately dumped afterward. It seems that Jenn craved validation from different men to make up for feeling unwanted in the past, and I totally relate to that, but I think it led her to some poor decisions. The poorest, of course, was the choice of Devin at the end. I hope she has learned something from all this ~ she says she's taking a break from romance, which is always a great idea. She's also going on Dancing with the Stars, and I may watch and comment. You have been warned!

It seems a lot of B's and contestants are on the show to find fame and fortune, just like in the days of old when Steve Martin went on The Dating Game. Nothing really changes. Think about it: what "normal" person would consent to be filmed 24/7 as they searched for their life partner, and what "normal" person could take two months off work to isolate/immerse in the Bachelor Nation universe? It definitely seems that they consider this an "investment" in the hope of becoming an actor or an influencer. I don't get the whole influencer thing, as I don't make my shopping decisions based upon what celebs are wearing and using. Companies pay big bucks for it, so some consumers are obviously influenced. Whatever, it's fun to have the B on as I am working on crafts, and I am looking forward to the Golden Bachelorette, which premiers on September 18.