Chanukah Romances

No, not mine, silly! The other week, I finally read The Matzah Ball by Jean Meltzer because I had it hanging around in hardcover for a year, and this week I read Burning Bright, a collection of four Chanukah-themed short stories.

Here be spoilers!

1. The Matzah Ball. I really wanted to love this book, and there were many good things about it, but the ending was so annoying that I awarded it only three stars. One of the main things I enjoyed was how Jean presented Rachel's illness (chronic fatigue syndrome) as a very real thing that informed her entire life, which of course is what illness generally does. Much like migraines, one does not "overcome" CFS with diet, positive thoughts, exercise, or whatever fad thing your aunt's neighbor saw on YouTube. You learn to live with it and adapt to it; it does not adapt to you and your hopes/dreams. I also loved how Rachel (Jewish, with very observant parents ~ dad is a famous rabbi!) is a secret Christmas lover and writes Christmas-themed romance novels. Now, writers often give their protags writing careers, since that's easy and lazy, and naturally they make gobs of money with whatever they write, like we all do, right? Right? LOL. Rachel is a bestselling romance writer, but her career is extra-stressful because not only does she have to keep producing work while she's dealing with illness (though it's still better than having a regular job where she'd have to show up every day), but also she (believes that she) has to stay strictly on the downlow with a pseudonym and never show her face on a book cover or do in-person promos. She assumes that it would upset her family terribly if she "came out" as a fan of Christmas ~ she even has a secret Christmas room in her apartment (her writing office) that no one is allowed into. Rachel's anxiety is presented realistically ~ she feels the pressure to keep writing what her agent tells her to because living in a nice apartment in NYC is tough financially. Wow, an author presenting a relatable economic dilemma, what a treat!

Oh wait, I spoke too fast. We also have Jacob, the hero, who at age 30 is a multi-millionaire from party production, except that his company and fortune is all on the line because he promised his investors that he would create the most fabulous Chanukah-themed party ever. Because, why not. Jacob and Rachel know each other from pre-teen Jewish summer camp, where their "thing" was to prank each other so that everyone thought they were enemies, but they secretly held hands on movie nights. Due to a miscommunication, Rachel stood Jacob up at the final dance, where he was going to "come out" as her suitor (at age 12), and for the next 18 years, they believed that the other had done them wrong. Rachel hates Jacob for allegedly humiliating her during her first kiss, but it turns out that this was the fault of Rachel's gay (naturally) best friend Mickey. Now, even though Jacob is utterly meticulous and perfect as a wildly successful party-producer guy, somehow he screws up his Matzah Ball, and Rachel has to rescue the whole thing with her clever drink mixes and decorating tips, even though she's never planned a party in her life. Also, Jacob has to ask Rachel's dad (the famous rabbi, remember) to do the blessing, so obviously he has to stay at their house the shabbat (Friday night/Saturday) before the party and constantly come into contact with Rachel.

I like that Rachel's mother is a doctor, even though she does the stereotypical moaning about wanting more grandchildren. That's OK ~ who doesn't want grands? ~ but at least there are other aspects to her character. Same goes for Jacob's grandmother, who is a fun character all-round. I dislike how the Rachel/Jacob relationship is presented as a binary: either they go on "hating" each other, or else they get married. No other options exist! God forbid, two people decide they aren't right for each other, wish each other well, and move on. Everything pales in comparison to the awful ending however. After spending the whole novel explaining Rachel's physical limitations due to illness, Jean makes Rachel fucking sprint across Manhattan a la When Harry Met Sally (but Harry didn't have a chronic disease!), and then leap up to climb a fire escape ladder to squeeze into the building through a window, crash the party, and declare her love for Jacob in front of everyone, including her parents. So dumb I could barely stand to read it. Jacob plans to leave for France the next day, and since there is no way to contact him after the party despite both of them constantly on their cell phones, this is the last chance Rachel will have, clearly, and she must engage in this insanity right now, no time to call a cab. She forgets her phone and purse as she runs out of her apartment half-dressed in the ball gown Jacob sent her but also wearing pink fuzzy slippers with her hair a mess. Utterly cringe.

I would have given two stars, but there aren't enough Chanukah books in the holiday romance pile, so I threw in an extra. Also, in the book's favor is that Jean uses proper narration: third person past tense, with POVs cleanly switching between Rachel and Jacob with no head hopping. These days, that counts for something, since so many new books have the worst narration... first person multiple and random flashbacks where it's hard to be sure who is telling the story and wtf is going on.

2. Sadly, I did award Burning Bright only two stars. It's a book of four shorts from Avon Impulse. The first two stories were OK with some decent conflict (mostly man against self). In the first one however, I became annoyed that Amanda was so cheerful, smiling, and forgiving when Ben acted like a grumpy asshole (even though he never meant to, but inner turmoil, blah, blah). I guess I am not a fan of the current prevailing trope in romance stories that is called "grumpy x sunshine." It's always the man who gets to be grumpy, while the woman has to be nurturing and sympathetic. Bleh. Can't we ever have a grumpy/sad woman who is wooed by a happy, emotionally generous man? I did appreciate the family dynamics between Ben and his father, which seemed realistic and complex, rather than stereotypical. By itself, I would have given this story three stars.

I also would have given the second story three stars ~ it's a love story between two lawyers, and all is going great until Evan takes Shari to meet his family during Chanukah. They like her so much that they start immediately badgering Evan to pop the question, which freaks him out so much that he tells Shari he needs some time apart, which in turn freaks her out (so much) because she hadn't seen it coming. It's a pretty contrived storyline, given that these are two really smart people who work in family law and are over 30 years old. The reader is supposed to believe that Evan and Shari blissfully dated for over six months, had incredible sex, declared their love on repeat, etc., without ever giving a thought to making the relationship permanent? Anyway, after Evan asks for a break, he immediately regrets it, but it's too late because Shari has now decided that she needs a break. So, we watch Evan try to woo her back. Blah de blah.

The third and fourth stories were so bad I couldn't finish them (i.e., deserving of one star each), which is why the overall rating drops down to two stars. I guess that's one of the perils of including your story in an anthology ~ your rating is dependent upon the book as a whole. I am still very open to reading a good Chanukah story, romance or otherwise, but for now I have to focus on my book club books.