Second Choices and Pointless Meanderings

I changed my mind and resubscribed to Hulu, primarily because my friend C told me that they chose Pascal to be the next Golden Bachelor, and he's adorable and hilarious. The other reason is because I don't much care for the Amazon Prime offerings these days (except for the Mamma Mia movies I purchased and rewatch often sans ads), so I've been watching a ton of Netflix. It'll be nice to have another option. In May, my Hulu deal will end and the price will jump to $9.99/month, so we'll see how I feel about it post-Pascal. I console myself regarding the expenditure by saying that I don't go out to movies much, nor do I even go out to eat the way I used to. It's expensive, and restaurant food is too salty and high in calories/fat. My favorite place to be is home with my kitty Gatsby anyway, and since I don't know how much time he has left, I want to be with him as much as possible. I guess that's true for every loved one, but since he got diagnosed with KD3, I am more aware of the clock ticking.

I was reading about this other reality dating show where they said a woman noped being the second choice after the guy's first choice bailed. I get that. Looking back, I think I was second choice in all of my serious relationships, except maybe one. It's a really crappy feeling; mostly I tried not to think about it, but there were times it was unavoidable. After my divorce, I too noped out of being second. If a guy was hung up on someone else, moaned endlessly about his ex, kept boxes of her photos, forget it. For once in my life, I wanted to feel 100% wanted, and that never happened. Ultimately, I guess my desire for a relationship wasn't that strong post-divorce because being second choice was only one of a zillion red flags. No biggie. Just meandering. It's so nice to make my own plans and keep my own schedule that I can't possibly even imagine sharing that with another person now. I think it would drive me nuts to have to care what someone else wanted for dinner every night. Most nights, I barely eat dinner, and I like it that way. Lunch is king!

I've gained about 5 pounds during the last few years, and I am not happy with the way my body looks, but mostly I don't care. My clothing is flattering, and no one is going to see me without it. I'm not a fan of swimsuits either, though I recently bought a few new ones "just in case." I'd rather just wear shorts and a tee shirt, since I never actually like to go in the water except for my feet. Sometimes I decide I am going to try to lose the 5 pounds; other times I just shrug. I feel like the weight loss will happen though and fairly soon. Why? I don't know. It's just one of those OCD number things that will make me happy. I've given up coffee again, and that seems to be helpful. I sleep better, which is good for overall health and weight control specifically (when you're tired during the day, your brain demands sugar), and my tummy isn't so sour all the time.

I watched Anatomy of a Scandal on Netflix last weekend. It was really good! I enjoyed the acting and the twists and turns of the story. Highly recommend this six-part show.

I slogged through The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami for my 2025 Reading Challenge category of a 600+ page book. Since I've loved almost everything else I've read by him, it was shocking to be so disappointed. This book was a disjointed mess of random characters flitting in and out to tell long, ridiculous backstories as the main character drifted through his own life. He'd lost his job, his wife left him, and his cat ran away. It was like a country song but in Japanese, and I had a hard time caring about him when he was so apathetic and passive. Overall, the book was a giant snooze interspersed with gory war stories and magical realism. Two stars.

So, that book took me over a week to read, not only because it was so long, but also I disliked it yet felt compelled to finish and check it off my list. Next, I will be reading some light, fluffy fun fiction and of course more psychological thrillers, which is becoming my go-to genre over romance. I still love romance novels! But only Regency Romance or anything set before 1900, like the Victoria Holt books. Contemporary romances suck (as I have described previously).