Reasonable Questions

Pondering life’s great mysteries ~ 1989

Reason triumphs over desire—

Or is it the other way ‘round?

Can logic douse our passion’s fire?

Reason triumphs over desire:

So we think as mammals higher;

Don’t want to be emotion bound.

Reason triumphs over desire—

Or is it the other way ‘round?

~*~

This quadrille triolet poem was inspired by Linda’s SoCS prompt of reason, though this post isn’t stream of consciousness. Unlike some poems however, it wasn't a struggle to get the rhymes or the wordcount (and in my world, these QT's must have 8 syllables per line because I like to make my own life difficult). As I was dealing with a migraine early this morning, the lines materialized in my mind while I was throwing up in the bathroom (TMI?). It’s been a tough week for my poor head in the heat wave, which thankfully has finally broken. No matter how well-behaved my migraines are in summer (and they were very polite this year), September weather triggers them unmercifully. That’s my reason/ excuse for failing to blog this week, though in truth if I had really wanted to, I would have. Confession: I returned to bingeing The Sopranos every night after work and am now at the end of S4. It’s such a good show!

Today I am getting my flu shot and updated Covid vax, which I encourage everyone to do, especially oldies like myself. The flu absolutely sucks when you're older; hell, even a cold is horrible. When I was a teen, colds were no big deal and barely impacted my lifestyle, such as it was, but now they totally mess me up for a full week plus. Ah, the joys of aging. Guess it still beats the alternative. 

Random Meanderings...

Pic of Crystal Cove for no reason

Blogger comments don't seem to be working. I can't comment on my own blog or on anyone else's ~ and I’m sorry if my repeated tries show up as multiple comments when Blogger starts up again. I asked AI and followed the directions for all the things, but nothing worked. I haven't received a new comment in over 18 hours, nor do I see new comments on other Blogspot blogs, so I don't think it's just me. Or is it just me? I usually blame myself first whenever anything goes wrong. 

It may not be related to the commenting glitch, but I noticed that Blogger's dashboard was a bit off this week with the "B" disappearing randomly, which required a refresh to see the menu. Now all the WordPress peeps can chime in to tell me WP is better, but I know it isn't ~ I WAS THERE! For years, I dealt with all of WP's stupid glitches as a paying customer until I gave up and left. Technically, I pay for Blogger too, via Google's extra storage, but it's a small amount compared to WP and gives me storage all across Google. 

But it's a good day! I took off from work, so I now have a four (4!) day weekend, which is awesome. It's not that I hate working, but I rarely take vacations. Welp, it's been ages since I went anywhere on a "real vacation," though I have been in the habit of taking random long weekends just to use up the days. I've always been a person who needed a lot of down time just to stare at the wall. Not to mention, I have social events all four days. How did this happen? LOL

This is the time of year when I have an almost constant migraine, and yep it is happening now too. Even though my head has been somewhat better, I knew this was coming. We've had other super hot days (and it isn't even super hot right now), but there's something about the start of September that triggers me. Maybe it's psychological. I don't know. I've been trying to be gentle with myself and do all the self-care things, which help a little bit. I haven't stopped working out, but I do it less vigorously while I'm in migraine mode. Basically I just have to get through it.

I'm in a reading slump. I did read 11 books in August, which may seem like a lot for people who never read a book (sadly, this includes some of my best friends), but it's not for me. I started and abandoned a whole bunch of books because they bored me to tears. Some of them I noted on Goodreads as "DNF," but others I didn't bother recording. As I've said, I'm over romance novels (this is usually temporary, but who knows?), but I am also over thrillers. They're just so samey-same. I have Wildflower by Drew Barrymore, a memoir told in a series of vignettes, which is an NYT bestseller, so I am hoping that will be interesting.

This is embarrassing to admit, but I don't enjoy Jane Austen's writing. I made it through P&P, and I liked the movie version a lot, but Austen's writing style is so unappealing to me. I loved Persuasion with Dakota Johnson, and I have the book in my Kindle library, but I haven't read it. Same goes for Emma with Gwyneth Paltrow. (It's marked read on my Kindle, but I don't think I actually finished it. You have to mark books as read or delete them completely to get them out of your unread pile.) I saw the preview for Sense and Sensibility last Friday, which looked good, so I downloaded the book, and UGH! I simply cannot read it. I guess back then "show not tell" wasn't a thing because the whole book is tell tell tell. And while I know people spoke differently in the 1800s, I can't believe they truly engaged in such stilted dialogue. Here's a girl trying to convince her sister that the object of her affections really isn't a complete dud:

"Of his sense and his goodness," continued Elinor, "no one can, I think, be in doubt, who has seen him often enough to engage him in unreserved conversation. The excellence of his understanding and his principles can be concealed only by that shyness which too often keeps him silent. You know enough of him to do justice to his solid worth. But of his minuter propensities, as you call them you have from peculiar circumstances been kept more ignorant than myself. [...]"

It goes on and on AND ON like this, page after page. Gah. I also have Northanger Abbey, but I can't bear to open it.

I began rewatching The Sopranos on HBO, and at first I loved it. I was picking up subtle nuances that I had either forgotten on my past watches or never noticed at all, plus I was following some Facebook discussions on the same. Last night, I was about halfway through S3, when I thought eff this it's way too boring. I began scrolling on my phone, then fell asleep, and now I have zero interest in continuing this rewatch. Boo! I was having so much fun with it. What happened? I think the constant arguing (yelling) and tension among the various characters was making me feel drained. It reminded me of my parents, although they never whacked anyone, far as I know.

I guess I'm just in an "everything sucks" phase. I did enjoy the two movies I saw recently, as I posted here.

Kiss My Grits

Older painting by my daughter Diane

I’m participating in Joyce’s Hodgepodge this week by responding to the following questions.

1. What’s something you wanted to do this summer that you never got around to doing?

I planned to paint and bought new canvases. (I have a ton of painting supplies already.) As some of you may know, I used to follow Cinnamon Cooney aka the Art Sherpa for painting inspiration, but she passed away in December 2024 (age 54), and now I find inspiration from various other sources. I saved a bunch of ideas that appealed to me, and yet I never painted anything. When I had time, the mood just wasn’t there, and I can’t force it. Same goes for writing fiction or poetry.

2. Were you the student who sat in the front row or hid in the back of the class? If you could go back and take one high school class again just for fun, which would it be?

From the answers I’ve seen so far, it appears that those who loved school and were good students sat in the front. As usual, I’m different. While I enjoyed the learning aspect of school, though not the social, and I was a fabulous student grade-wise, I never sat in the front if I had a choice. My preference in any situation is to sit in the back, at the end of a row, and near a door if possible.

I would love to retake geometry (my favorite math class) and then immediately go on to retake more math and hopefully be able to go beyond where I stopped in college (advanced calculus) into theoretical math. That would be so cool! Assuming my old brain could handle it. 

3. What characteristics do you think are essential in a good teacher (this can be applied to anyone who teaches, not just classroom teachers)?

Good communication skills, kindness, patience, humor, and a flexible attitude toward unexpected glitches.

4. September 2 is National Grits Day. Have you ever eaten grits? Are you a fan? If so, how do you like yours? Would people describe you as “having grit?”

I don’t think I have ever had grits, and I’m not sure what they are. Like couscous or cream of wheat? If so, I would probably like them. 

I don’t know how people would describe me. Whether I have grit (courage, bravery, fortitude, determination) is dependent upon the situation. Mostly not, I think. 

5. What’s something you’re never too old or too young to enjoy?

Birthday cake, music, a soft cozy blanket, the soothing sound of rain or waves, and a snuggly puppy.

6. Insert your own random thought here.

“Kiss my grits!” is a phrase that the waitress character Flo used  in the TV show Alice. She was played by Polly Holliday, who passed away in September 2025 at age 88. The title character was played by Linda Lavin, who died in December 2024 at age 87. The older I get, the more aware I am of people dying and their age at death. I guess that’s only natural as we face our own mortality. 

Fictional Meanderings

AI dragon with jellybeans

[I wrote this earlier in my Some Thoughts on Fiction post, but then I realized it should be its own thing.]

Novels are created from a writer's imagination, as least partly, but the key for me is that they could be true, either in this world or in a fantasy world. There are all types of fiction, but for me to immerse my mind in a story, I have to find the characters and the situations believable. But what about House of the Dragon? I have mentioned my love for that show. Sure, there can be dragons (or gods, ghosts, genies, vampires, shifters, etc.), but they have to follow the rules and conform to the boundaries the writer built for the fantasy universe. Anything that is “magical” needs to follow a set of rules, preferably presented in advance, so that plot twists and resolutions avoid the dreaded deux ex machina. Non-magical events should conform to boundaries we already understand from this world, and no rules should be fudged to resolve a conflict. 

Skip this paragraph if you are familiar with the deux ex machina plot device. This is when in the stage plays of old a literal “god” (the deux) would come down from the ceiling to solve the problem. A crane-like machine would lower the actor to the stage. When we use the term now, we generally mean that the writer failed to create a resolution using the rules s/he already established in the story's universe and instead had something new swoop in to save the day. Let's consider James Bond in Live and Let Die escaping certain death via crocodiles by nimbly leaping across their backs to safety (in a suit and dress shoes!). That’s perfectly in line with the 007 character. But if the writers had decided instead to have the crocs all suddenly expire from multiple lightning strikes, that would count as a deux ex machina device and be horribly unsatisfying for the audience. Good writing always avoids this! 

Back to dragons. In the imaginary world that George R.R. Martin created for Game of Thrones, there are established rules, such as dragons don’t burn and neither will the special humans with dragon DNA, so it’s fitting that Daenerys survives infernos, but her cruel brother Viserys, who is always faking his dragon status, gets burned to death by molten gold. What isn’t believable in the story, however, is when people without antibiotics survived messy, painful, and terribly unhygienic amputations. The dragons are fine in my mind; Jaime surviving his hand getting lopped off is not.

The problem I have with most shifter romances is matter of logistics. What happens to the human clothing when a man shifts into his tiger or bear or wolf or whatever? And doesn’t he get all smelly and gross and full of parasites during his animal phase? What happens with all that when he shifts back to human form? Yes, I know that even in the spiciest novels no one talks about using the bathroom (unless that's part of the spice), but I can’t stop thinking about these “practical” issues while I’m reading, so it kind of wrecks the whole shifter story for me. 

Non-magical stories do not escape my fussy criticism either. In romance novels and romcoms, I have a huge problem with too many coincidences; often, more than one is too many. The fact that the hero and heroine meet at all is an amazing coincidence, so why pile more on top of that to make the story wobble from unbelievability? I'm a fan of Collen Hoover’s popular novel Verity (soon to be released in movie form with Anne Hathaway, Dakota Johnson, and some man), but there’s no reason for the protagonists to “pre-meet” in a coffee shop, with the requisite spilled coffee and ruined blouse, before they actually meet at the job interview. In the novel I’m currently reading, Heartbeat at My Feet by Kristin Judd, the protags will meet when Josie travels to Sorrento, Italy with Cicero (the adorable doggie), so why did Judd create an awkward encounter between Josie and Giorgio at a gelato shop before that? It makes no sense!

In thrillers, my biggest problem is usually the protagonist acting contrary to her given character or any person really simply to further the plot. If you introduce a smart, sensible businesswoman who inherited her kooky old great-aunt's mansion, you can’t have her fall apart the minute she steps into the house and begin to make the stupidest decisions. Honestly, the only intelligent thing to do when you get bad vibes from a creepy old house is to GTFO and check into a motel (not the Bates one though), not spend the night there in your filmy nightgown and explore the basement at 3AM because you heard a weird noise. FOR PETE’S SAKE!

No, I do love fiction. Good fiction. And there’s plenty of it. You just have to sift through the dreck, which I’m generally willing to do. I finish most books that semi-annoy me because I forgive imperfect writing, but they have to contain at least one redeeming quality, like a cute dog. And gelato, whatever that is ~ apparently not ice cream, as I had previously assumed, according to AI. I don't think I've ever had gelato, but now I want some.

Watch everyone comment about the gelato and not my profound observations about fiction.

Range of (e)Motion

Image from Unsplash

One of the topics in John Holton’s Writer’s Workshop this week is a new obsession, which oddly enough for me is exercise. Throughout the day I imagine which Leslie Sansone video routine I will choose that night and go over the different ones in my mind. (Sometimes on weekends I exercise earlier in the day if I have plans in the evening.) In the past, I obsessed over all kinds of unhealthy things, and I never would have guessed that in my 60s I would come to love aerobics. It’s not just the routines though ~ I think about Leslie herself a lot and her jokey banter with the other exercisers in the vids. I catch myself using her terminology at random times too.

I’ve mentioned this previously, but in the context of trying to be healthier. I don’t know if I’m healthier now that I’ve been working out consistently since June 1, but you would think so, right? While my cholesterol is the same (too high), my blood pressure is always in the “green zone” lately. My weight is unchanged, and I don’t look any fitter. Back in the old days, the fact that I didn’t appear to have lost any flab would have caused me to lose motivation to continue to work out, but that hasn’t happened. It’s the opposite actually: if I think that I might not have time to exercise on a particular day, I get anxious about it. Plus, I never say to myself that I’m too tired to do it or use any other excuse.

So weird!

I have discovered a few subtle changes (improvements) in myself since June 1. While my neck and back are as achy as they’ve been for decades, I find I can move more easily, from getting out of bed to turning my head in the car. I used to get tired after 20 minutes of light exercise, but now I can do 30 minutes to an hour with no problem. Even though it’s the bad migraine time of year, and I’m still getting some, they aren’t as frequent. I may have said this already, sorry. I can’t be bothered looking it up because I’m writing this on my phone while rewatching The Sopranos (for probably the fourth time). 

What’s interesting to me (and possibly to you if you’re still reading) is that while my range of motion seems to be larger, my range of emotion has slightly narrowed. This is a good thing! I attribute it to the daily workouts mellowing me out. When I’m exercising, my mind is focused on what I’m doing and not going off into the weeds of work stress or whatever other thing. It’s kind of like the chilled out feeling I experience while doing a puzzle or playing an intense board game, except that the workout endorphins or whatever last all day now. Or somewhat anyway. Generally, I exercise at night, and the relaxedness lasts through the next 24 hours, which is also why I try not to skip a day. It’s so great!

Hey, I’m not going to pretend that my mood stays all sweetness and delight 100% of the time. Of course not. I’m still me. But my reactions to normal bumps in the road of life aren’t so extreme and upsetting lately. It’s a small difference, but I’ll take it.

 

I only wish I had started exercising regularly sooner. 

Lunchtime Share

My sweet little Inky

Before I jump into Di’s Share Your World questions, I want to acknowledge that it’s Black Cat Appreciation Day. I love my little Inkerbelle! 

1. What was your favorite TV show as a kid?

When very young, I loved Pink Panther, Speed Racer, Roadrunner, Rocky & Bullwinkle, and Let’s Make a Deal. Later on, all the game shows became favorites, especially Match Game and Hollywood Squares. As a teenager, my sitcom faves were I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched, One Day at a Time, the Brady Bunch, and Eight is Enough. I also enjoyed detective shows like Columbo, Hart to Hart, and McMillan & Wife. I’m sure there are lots more that I am forgetting!

2. Do you have a favorite “tipple” (alcoholic drink or something when you are out for a meal, etc.)?

I love alcoholic drinks, but they don’t love me, and the older I get the worse it is. Fancy cocktails are so much fun. I used to love margaritas, mojitos, mai tais, pina coladas, Irish Coffee with tons of whipped cream, etc. ~ all those sugary, girly drinks, particularly if they came with tiny umbrellas. I went through a Bailey’s Irish Cream phase (that lasted 40 years), an amaretto phase, and a cinnamon whiskey phase. Yum! Now all of that makes me barf. 

Nowadays, I can have a glass (or two) of red wine or champagne, which may or may not give me a migraine, though since I get migraines frequently regardless, I occasionally decide that it’s worth the extra risk. If I remember to drink water afterwards, it often helps me to avoid a headache. That’s it though. No more mixed drinks or sweet liquor for me. Wah.

The vast majority of time, I order iced tea or Diet Coke.

3. Is there a movie you can watch again and again and still enjoy?

Yes, indeed. In fact, this weekend I rewatched both Mamma Mia movies while I worked on my puzzle (ironically, a pic of fancy cocktails ~ see my IG), and I enjoyed them immensely. Somewhat less frequently, I rewatch Walking on Sunshine, Chicago, Fiddler on the Roof, Saturday Night Fever, and other musicals, and romcoms such as You’ve Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, 27 Dresses, The Hating Game, etc. And of course Young Frankenstein! I generally do not rewatch serious movies. 

4. Did you have a favorite toy as a child? Or perhaps one you wanted and never got?

I loved my Barbies, but this was back when you had a few dolls and bought outfits and accessories for them. Nowadays, you buy a whole new doll in a themed pack instead of changing their clothes. While I appreciate themes, it was a lot of fun to mix and match outfits and browse the Barbie catalog for new ones. I also loved my Super Spirograph set and spent many hours creating cool designs ~ and redoing them obsessively until they were perfect. I don’t remember if there was anything I wanted and didn’t get, except a sister.

Gratitude: I am grateful that FedEx delivered all my stuff and that I managed to connect the new Spectrum equipment without any glitches (except for my Roku being slower). My daughter asked if you only had to plug it in. WELL YES, but I am extremely talented at messing up the simplest things. She should know that!

A Pearly 'Podge

With my pink pearls in Queens, NY (1988)

I'm participating in Joyce's Hodgepodge again this week by responding to the following questions.

1. What's something on your August calendar you're looking forward to? Or dreading if that's easier to answer. 

My daughter and son-in-law are treating me to a production of The Phantom of the Opera at the end of August, and I am very much looking forward to that, as I have never seen it live, only a bit of it on TV. I'm also seeing Project Hail Mary at a friends' house, and I plan to make alien-themed cupcakes to bring for the potluck. I finally ordered a proper cupcake carrier so my treats don't get all smushed in transit.

2. August 5th is National Oyster Day...do you partake? How do you feel about pearls? 

When I was a kid on the East Coast we ate raw oysters all the time, and they were delicious! Nowadays, it's really dangerous to eat raw shellfish, so I never do. I'm even wary of sashimi (got very sick from it in 2016 around the time I met the ghost guy) and usually order cooked fish with the very occasional exception of tuna or salmon (the crabmeat or fake crabmeat in California roll sushi is always cooked). My mom made oyster stuffing a few times, and I absolutely loved it, though generally there aren't that many opportunities to order cooked oysters. I'm not a fan of oyster soup, which for some strange reason my parents always had on New Year's Eve. 

As far as pearls, they're okay. I have some pretty pink pearls that I received as an engagement gift, but I don't wear them often (see the photo above). I enjoy the scene in Mamma Mia Here We Go Again when Donna and Bill go diving and find an oyster with a pearl in it.

3. Tell us about a time when you felt like 'the world was your oyster'. 

Uh, I don't know. I guess the good life was mine when my girls were little and my ex's business was successful. I didn't have to work. We had a nice house, and I didn't worry about money. My parents were still around and healthy. Etc. That lasted from around 1992 to 1998.

4. Trip Advisor lists seven islands in the US that require no passport (for US citizens). If you're answering today from outside the US you'll still need to produce yours. An-y-way, have you been to any of the seven? Let's pretend you get an all expense paid trip to one this month...which one do you choose and why? 

Catalina Island California~Martha's Vineyard Massachusetts~Mackinac Island Michigan~Key West Florida~South Padre Island Texas~or Kauai Hawaii

I have been to Catalina and Kauai, both of which are gorgeous. Since I am not a fan of plane travel, I would choose an all expense paid trip to Catalina again (from where I live, you take a ferry over).

5. Sylvia Plath is credited with the following- 

"August rain: the best of the summer gone, and the new fall not yet born. The odd uneven time."

Agree or disagree? In other words, how do you feel about this month? 

I don't feel the best of summer has gone, at least not this year. As I said at first, I have at least two fun events coming up in August and possibly more. While I used to look forward to September, I don't now because of the beastly hot weather and horrible winds here in coastal Southern California. September is migraine central, basically (although mine have improved a bit, so we'll see). I do enjoy October, when it cools off a bit and we start talking about Halloween.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

I didn't get a great night's sleep last night, so I am enjoying a slow, lazy day of not doing much, while trying to work up the energy for aerobics. Later, I will watch S3 episode 7 of House of the Dragon.

Inky Pinky Hodgepodge

Inky pinky painting

I'm participating in the Hodgepodge again this week, which is hosted by Joyce. She sure comes up with some great questions!

1. June 17th, 1994 was the day of the infamous O.J. Simpson car chase. What were you doing in 1994? I'm guessing somebody is going to tell me they weren't born yet but that's part of the fun of the Hodgepodge. Lots of generations are represented here. 

In June of 1994, I was a 33 year-old SAHM, so I imagine that I was doing mommyish things and not paying much attention to the news. I vaguely knew this big event was happening, but I had way more important stuff going on, like coloring with my daughters and baking cookies.

2. What's your favorite summer salad that isn't the traditional tossed green lettuce kind of salad? Do you like fresh fruit in a salad (other than in a fruit salad of course)?

I love fruit salad and fruit in any green salad, especially berries and mango. My favorite summer salad is the strawberry poppyseed chicken salad at Panera (check it out).

3. Is chivalry dead? Should it be? 

Chivalry is a double-edged sword, pardon the pun. Obviously the old-timey chivalry with knights and jousts and stuff is dead, except at Medieval Times and Renaissance Fairs, but we now use the term to describe "gentlemanly" type of behavior. While it may seem nice for men to be especially courteous to and protective of women, and also pick up the check, that often comes with a price. I think we all know what that price is. The concept seems pretty dead to me these days, but I have aged out of that world, so I guess I don't really know. Personally, I'm fine with not having those things and not being expected to do anything in return either. As far as holding doors/ elevators, that's just general politeness ~ people do it for each other regardless of gender, which is how it should be.

4. Would you rather spend a week of your summer vacation in Hawaii or Alaska? Have you ever been to either? Are they two places you really would like to see? How do you feel about 'Hawaiian pizza' aka pineapple on a pizza? Have you ever eaten Baked Alaska? 

Neither, as I dislike traveling and being away from home/ kitty. I've been to Hawaii a few times, and it was nice. Friends have taken Alaskan cruises, and the photos look interesting, though cruises appeal to me even less than vacations in general. I'm totally fine with Hawaiian pizza, though I probably wouldn't order it, as I prefer an all-veggie pizza. We had Baked Alaska at my second wedding (1988), which was a terrible idea (not mine). It was dramatic and tasted fine, but I missed having a real cake. 

5. World Cup play is happening now...are you interested? Watching any matches? Did you or your children play soccer/futbol? There are eleven US cities hosting matches--Atlanta, Boston, Dallas, Houston, Kansas City, Los Angeles, Miami, New York with the stadium in NJ, Philadelphia, San Francisco, and Seattle along with  three cities in Mexico (Guadalajara, Mexico City and Monterrey) and two in Canada (Toronto and Vancouver). You get free tickets to one of these matches. Which city do you choose? Tell us why. 

I have zero interest in any sporting events. My daughters did not play soccer. I guess I would take the free tickets to the Los Angeles games and give them away to someone who'd enjoy them.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

On Saturday, my friend Lisa and I had dates ~ literally. She brought over hot honey sushi (don't judge; it's delicious!) and date rolls with coconut. We watched the first part of the HBO Billy Joel documentary (I already saw the whole thing, but she hadn't), and will watch part two in a few weeks. It's excellent! The reason I resubscribed to HBO is because House of the Dragon is returning for the third season next Sunday, and that's one of the rare shows I enjoy. (See, I can suspend my disbelief for dragons!) It's been a while since I subbed, so I clicked on the cancel button to see what it would entail, and they thought I was cancelling right then, so they offered me half price for three months. LOL! I guess I will have HBO until October now. Any movie recs? Since it's so long between seasons and my brain is stuffed with so much junk, I am rewatching S2 of Dragon this week to prepare.

Yesterday (Sunday), my coworker and I did a "paint your pet" session at Pino's Palette. No, we don't put paint on the pet! We paint from a photo. She did her cute poodle-type doggo, which came out great, and I painted Inky. Because we needed room for her tail, the canvas has an area that needs "more," as you can see in the above image, so I ordered some large black stickers from Amazon to spell out her name on the left side. I'm really pleased with my painting, especially the eyes!

Today (Monday) I took the day off from work and will be driving up to Los Angeles in a few hours to see my granddaughter in her first ballet recital. I'm happy I can do this, as I don't get to see the kiddos all that often. Living an hour's drive away (at the best of times) sounds close, and it's certainly closer than a plane flight, but it's not like I can just pop in whenever. Visits are always planned around work and school.

That was more of a recap than a random thought!

Underdog (April A2Z ~ Misty Memories)

 

Me in Buffalo, NY, around 1964

Welcome to my April A2Z posts! This time, I am officially signed up on the challenge sheet and will be visiting other bloggers on the list. My theme is "misty memories," which will include a bunch of rambling about old stuff in my life, and hopefully some of it will be accurate, but if not, there's no one around to contradict me. Today we continue with U for Underdog.

When I was little, I loved TV, cartoons especially. I vaguely remember watching cartoons when we lived in Buffalo; I definitely remember Saturday morning cartoons when we moved to Tarrytown. Even as I grew up, I still loved them: Underdog, Rocky & Bullwinkle (and Boris & Natasha), Yogi Bear (and all his Jellystone Park friends), Tennessee Tuxedo, the Pink Panther, Magilla Gorilla, the Roadrunner (meep! meep!), the Flintstones, etc. As I mentioned before, I enjoyed the Brady Bunch... also the Partridge Family, the Munsters, the Addams Family, a Family Affair, the Courtship of Eddie's Father, and of course I Dream of Jeannie, That Girl, and Bewitched. Together with my mom, I liked to watch Star Trek, Dallas, and "Creature Feature" scary movies. Am I mixing these shows up chronologically? That's how misty memories are... like a pile of photos in a box you pull out randomly.

As a teen, I regularly tuned into Eight is Enough, One Day at a Time, Happy Days, Gilligan's Island, All in the Family and all the spinoffs, and the game shows. I don't think there was any game show I passed up ~ if it was on, I watched it. My favorites were Match Game, Hollywood Squares, Family Feud, the Price is Right, and Let's Make a Deal. Detective shows were high on my list as well: Columbo, Hart to Hart, McMillian and Wife, Magnum P.I., the Rockford Files, etc. Variety shows! Carol Burnett, Sonny & Cher, Tony Orlando & Dawn, Hee-Haw, Laugh-In (which my dad loved too). Love American Style! What a fun show that was. I didn't care much for ongoing dramas at this time; I preferred for a storyline to be complete when the show was over (with a few exceptions).

After we moved to California in 1983, I immediately became addicted to MTV. We didn't have it back in Chicago at that point due to some political shenanigans or whatever (I don't remember why). For hours I would be mesmerized by all the music videos ~ it was the greatest thing ever. Until I got bored and never watched MTV again, but that took a while. Now, in my later 20s/30s, I began to enjoy the dramas. LA Law was one of my favorites. When my girls were little, I didn't watch much TV of my own choosing; I watched the fun/ educational children's shows with them, and my ex and I rented movies for the evening. Then came the Sopranos, Six Feet Under, and of course the greatest show of all time, Breaking Bad.

I've lost my taste for "TV" though, whatever that means these days. Most movies and series are completely boring or stupid, and I can't bear watching them. The few that I love, I rewatch repeatedly, such as the Mamma Mia movies, Walking on Sunshine, the Hating Game, 27 Dresses, You've Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, Grease, Miss Congeniality, Young Frankenstein, Chicago, etc. Some may argue that the movies on my love-list are stupid, and to that I say... pffft. The heart wants what the heart wants. I would rather read most of the time anyway than stare at some dumb new romcom or mystery miniseries. That said, around the holidays, I like to watch the most sugary, predictable Christmas romances. Why? I don't know. They usually involve baking.

Sorry for not italicizing titles. There are just too many of them here.

Neighbors (April A2Z ~ Misty Memories)

Neighbor friend in Queens, NY

Welcome to my April A2Z posts! This time, I am officially signed up on the challenge sheet and will be visiting other bloggers on the list. My theme is "misty memories," which will include a bunch of rambling about old stuff in my life, and hopefully some of it will be accurate, but if not, there's no one around to contradict me. Today we continue with N for Neighbors.

I was born in Tarrytown, New York, and we moved to Queens soon afterward and then up to Buffalo a few years later. I have a few vague memories from Buffalo ~ more like flashes ~ though they could be wrong. My mother vacuuming and telling me about germs. Staring at earthworms with neighborhood kids after a rain. Eating Oreos at the kitchen table with a friend. Mom getting into an argument with a neighbor over Green Stamps. Mom framing a newspaper article about JFK and putting it up on the wall. Playing on the swings alone, falling off backwards, and hitting my head. 

My dad switched jobs, and we moved back to Queens. I went to kindergarten, which I barely remember, except for finger painting, which I enjoyed. The next year, we were in Tarrytown again. I don't think we had much money. My parents rented a one bedroom apartment; I used the bed, and they slept on a pull-out sofa in the living room so they could stay up later. My mom went back to work and had a mean old lady across the street babysit for me in the afternoons. In the summers, I attended a day camp, which I hated because it was full of sporty activities and kids who didn't like me because I was so unathletic. In school, the other kids mocked me for the same reason. 

We were in Tarrytown for two years, and then back to Queens we returned, where I went to third grade. This apartment building was fun, with neighbors from a bunch of different countries, and I actually enjoyed the socializing. I had a Japanese friend (a few years older) who taught me origami. An Indian neighbor taught my mom how to make chai. We were invited to a feast at the Trinidad neighbors' place where we sat on pillows on the floor. The Filipino neighbors had a party, and they played one 45 on repeat: "Sugar, Sugar." I had an alcoholic drink there, with my parents, when I was 9 years old. Times were definitely different!

The next year, my parents bought a house on Long Island with my father's parents. My grandmother hated it ~ she said she was "living in the basement." (It was one of those bi-level houses intended for two families.) I understand now that she was prone to depression, and moving away from the familiar triggered an episode. She could no longer walk to stores and had to wait for someone to drive her (she didn’t drive). She missed her friends. My grandpa got a part-time job and wasn’t around as much. I can see how this would be upsetting. The end came when she was mugged while walking with my grandpa. All those years she lived in the city and no muggings, but out in the 'burbs, bam, victim of a crime. We sold the house so she could go back to Queens. 

There were things I liked about living on Long Island, such as watching TV with Grandma in the "basement." We both loved The Brady Bunch. But I had a terrible time of it in fourth grade, made actual enemies of other kids, and was completely isolated from my peers. For a while things were OK in the friend department, and I did bead crafts with some girls on my block, but I think they were just using me because I had better beads and was willing to share. My misty memory is that one of these girls pushed me into the street when a car was coming, and I got so mad I threw a Coke bottle at her. Of all the times to have good aim, right? I think I hurt her, not sure, and after that no one in the neighborhood would talk to me. 

When my parents announced that we were moving to Middletown, New Jersey, I figured it had to be better than being the ostracized girl. Mostly it was... and I got a puppy too. The great thing about our NJ house was the big backyard with a weeping willow tree and an actual little creek. It was such a wonderful place to play, and I managed to make some neighbor friends who enjoyed make-believe and board games and crafts. We played a lot of badminton and ping pong. We even played baseball! It turned out I wasn't bad at everything athletic. I became good friends with two girls, for a couple years anyway. By seventh grade, they always wanted to hang out with the neighborhood boys, and I didn’t.

I already wrote about our move from New Jersey to Illinois, so I will link back to that if anyone is still reading along. I also wrote about our move from Chicago to California, but that wasn't part of the A2Z challenge.

We have made it past the halfway mark of the 2026 challenge. Hang in there, fellow A2Z-ers. You’re all doing great!

Antisocial Butterfly

For an antisocial introverted hermit, I’ve sure been going out and partying a lot! And when I say partying, I mean decorating themed cookies with my book club and hanging with some fellow old folks to talk about grandkids and such. It’s Day Three of this whirlwind of activity, and tonight I am playing online board games with a third group of peeps. Craziness. 

I had a bit of a sad yesterday when I realized that I no longer have any of my old blogs archived. Not sure what happened there, but my new philosophy is to deal with things as they are and not moan and groan about how I wish they would be. Well… maybe a just a little M&G, depending on the sitch. I still have some stuff from my old WP public blog available via the Wayback Machine, which used to annoy me because I never gave them permission to keep my writing available after I delete it, but since it’s too bothersome to get it taken down, I will use it for my own purposes instead.

Good news! I finished the insanely difficult 1000-piece puzzle I began over a week ago (had some help the first day), and now I’m ready for a puzzle break. I think I’ll try sketching something. I printed a swan outline for a guide, so hopefully it turns out decently.

It’s been a struggle in the migraine department with the heat and the wind. Crossing my fingers that tomorrow is better. Oh, I finished Stephen King’s epic time-travel novel 11.22.63, to which I awarded five stars on Goodreads (plus added it to my favorites list). I highly recommend it! Yes, it’s over 800 pages, but it’s so worth the time. I think it was Roy who encouraged me to read the book after I mentioned that I enjoyed the miniseries. Thanks Roy!

Flashback Friday: Second Choices

I’m participating in Fandango’s Flashback Friday today with a post I originally wrote on February 20, 2025. My darling kitty Gatsby passed over the rainbow bridge in May, and I now have sweet little Inky in my life. I no longer watch any Bachelor shows and don’t subscribe to Hulu. I still have not lost the pesky five pounds and still don’t care enough to make much effort. I usually have one large cup of coffee each morning now, which doesn’t seem to make any difference in my sleep or digestion. 

Second Choices and Pointless Meanderings

I changed my mind and resubscribed to Hulu, primarily because my friend C told me that they chose Pascal to be the next Golden Bachelor, and he's adorable and hilarious. The other reason is because I don't much care for the Amazon Prime offerings these days (except for the Mamma Mia movies I purchased and rewatch often sans ads), so I've been watching a ton of Netflix. It'll be nice to have another option. In May, my Hulu deal will end and the price will jump to $9.99/month, so we'll see how I feel about it post-Pascal. I console myself regarding the expenditure by saying that I don't go out to movies much, nor do I even go out to eat the way I used to. It's expensive, and restaurant food is too salty and high in calories/fat. My favorite place to be is home with my kitty Gatsby anyway, and since I don't know how much time he has left, I want to be with him as much as possible. I guess that's true for every loved one, but since he got diagnosed with KD3, I am more aware of the clock ticking.

I was reading about this other reality dating show where they said a woman noped being the second choice after the guy's first choice bailed. I get that. Looking back, I think I was second choice in all of my serious relationships, except maybe one. It's a really crappy feeling; mostly I tried not to think about it, but there were times it was unavoidable. After my divorce, I too noped out of being second. If a guy was hung up on someone else, moaned endlessly about his ex, kept boxes of her photos, forget it. For once in my life, I wanted to feel 100% wanted, and that never happened. Ultimately, I guess my desire for a relationship wasn't that strong post-divorce because being second choice was only one of a zillion red flags. No biggie. Just meandering. It's so nice to make my own plans and keep my own schedule that I can't possibly even imagine sharing that with another person now. I think it would drive me nuts to have to care what someone else wanted for dinner every night. Most nights, I barely eat dinner, and I like it that way. Lunch is king!

I've gained about 5 pounds during the last few years, and I am not happy with the way my body looks, but mostly I don't care. My clothing is flattering, and no one is going to see me without it. I'm not a fan of swimsuits either, though I recently bought a few new ones "just in case." I'd rather just wear shorts and a tee shirt, since I never actually like to go in the water except for my feet. Sometimes I decide I am going to try to lose the 5 pounds; other times I just shrug. I feel like the weight loss will happen though and fairly soon. Why? I don't know. It's just one of those OCD number things that will make me happy. I've given up coffee again, and that seems to be helpful. I sleep better, which is good for overall health and weight control specifically (when you're tired during the day, your brain demands sugar), and my tummy isn't so sour all the time.

I watched Anatomy of a Scandal on Netflix last weekend. It was really good! I enjoyed the acting and the twists and turns of the story. Highly recommend this six-part show.

I slogged through The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami for my 2025 Reading Challenge category of a 600+ page book. Since I've loved almost everything else I've read by him, it was shocking to be so disappointed. This book was a disjointed mess of random characters flitting in and out to tell long, ridiculous backstories as the main character drifted through his own life. He'd lost his job, his wife left him, and his cat ran away. It was like a country song but in Japanese, and I had a hard time caring about him when he was so apathetic and passive. Overall, the book was a giant snooze interspersed with gory war stories and magical realism. Two stars.

So, that book took me over a week to read, not only because it was so long, but also I disliked it yet felt compelled to finish and check it off my list. Next, I will be reading some light, fluffy fun fiction and of course more psychological thrillers, which is becoming my go-to genre over romance. I still love romance novels! But only Regency Romance or anything set before 1900, like the Victoria Holt books. Contemporary romances suck (as I have described previously).

Generation Jones

I am not a fan of labels and have never really felt part of any labeled group, even ones I’ve paid to join. I guess it's human nature to try to find a group of folks to identify with, and by default other groups are "not us." This makes us feel safe from the scary things, or something. The modern mania to categorize people is, imo, mostly a marketing tactic to help advertise more strategically. I try to ignore labels, although some years ago it was brought to my attention that I am part of “Generation Jones,” which is apparently a cohort between Boomers and Generation X. I forgot about this until the other weekend when a group of friends began discussing it. 

If you were born between 1954 and 1965, like me, you may also be part of Generation Jones, especially if you don’t feel a connection to the Baby Boomers or to the younger folks in Gen X. Cultural commentator Jonathan Pontell coined the term “to describe a group with a unique set of cultural and economic experiences.” The name refers to “jonesing” (craving) and “keeping up with the Joneses,” as we supposedly yearn for the affluence of the Boomers and lament our unfulfilled promises. Many of us were "latchkey kids," coming home to empty houses when our mothers returned to work. We existed in the gap between Beatlemania and Nirvana, subsisting on punk rock, MTV, and Star Wars. Woodstock wasn't our thing, but we do recall Watergate and gas lines. We're more pessimistic and cynical than both Boomers and X'ers. 

Blah blah blah. Some of these items resonate with me (latchkey), and some don't (Star Wars). A lot of it is simply personal taste ~ I don't really like punk rock; I love the Doors and the Stones, which my dad listened to as well. I even love Sinatra and Elvis. What does that imply about which group I should be stuffed into? Nothing. I attribute my lack of wealth to a divorce, not to any mysterious cultural forces. I do feel somewhat unfulfilled as far as a career, but that was entirely my own fault, or not even "fault." I needed more time to process certain emotional issues in my teens and 20s and could not leap onto the college to career train at the optimal moment. As far as being pessimistic and cynical, I have no way to objectively judge if I am more or less so than people of different generations. Sometimes writers just make shit up because they have to get an article in by a deadline or want to say something edgy for attention. Not saying this is that. I don't know.

Anyway. I had a great lunch at Belmont Brewing Company in Long Beach the other day and learned that "flatbread" can be like a pizza! I had no idea; I've always ignored flatbreads on the menu due to the term itself sounding unappealing. Flat bread. Who wants that? But I ordered a veggie one due to curiosity plus nothing else struck my fancy, and it was absolutely delicious. I could only eat half, and the leftovers were yummy too. 

This weekend I binge-watched 11.22.63, the Netflix miniseries based on the Stephen King novel. I had never read the book, but I vaguely knew it was about a teacher traveling back in time to try to stop the JFK assassination. James Franco starred as Jake Epping and did a great job. I did have some problems with logistics; for example, at one point Jake's mentor told him that if Jake returned to the current year, everything he had changed in the past would be undone and go back to "normal." But then the movie ignored that whole concept, and Jake did return, twice, and that didn't happen. There were a couple other glitches as well, plus at various points the story became tedious and overly complicated. Like why not just kill Oswald or prevent him from leaving his house on that date? Instead, they (Jake plus his sidekick who was also in on the plan) dove into this whole mishmash about trying to see if Oswald was working for someone else, rented a place near him to spy on him, got involved with other characters, etc. In any case, the current day turns out worse if JFK lives, so that was interesting, and I would have liked to have heard more about it. The novel is considered one of King's best, blending science fiction and historical fiction, so I may have to add it to my ever-growing TBR pile. 

How Often Do You Spill Your Food or Beverage?

Apparently the reason why I never found love post-divorce is because I failed to spill my coffee or tea or Diet Coke on some hapless fellow. I never (as far as I know) dropped food on a man either. But according to contemporary romance novels, clumsiness with comestibles is the key to true love. While you don't see many governesses or companions in the Regency Romances getting scone crumbles on a duke or earl, in contemporaries it's de rigueur. I'm getting to the point where I want to DNF a book as soon as I see it ~ I even listed it as one of my Persnickety Peeves over a year ago. Back then, I called it an awkward meet cute, but I've since realized that it can happen anytime during the get-to-know-you stage. 

The latest one I read was in Life Derailed, for which I had high expectations as an exploration of how we feel about AI in our lives, and in particular would we rather have a customized, sensitive, kind, understanding, funny, and always available to chat AI boyfriend or an annoying human male? Alas, this was just a typical workplace romance with the usual tedious misunderstandings that melted away when the epiphany occurred. Regarding the spilled food, somehow our heroine Remi managed to get salad on poor Jason while he was sitting across the table. Salad! I had to stop reading to try to imagine how you could accidentally flip greens and pieces of tomato across the table onto a guy's shirt. I'm still having a hard time envisioning it.

I finished this book because I really hoped that more in depth discussion of AI with respect to relationships would materialize, but it never happened. I suppose I have to rewatch Her for that or one of the many various movies centered on this theme. I don't want to see robots gone bad; I want to see people preferring AI conversation to human interaction at least for a while. Anyway, I had other issues with Life Derailed, such as a mom character that could have been funny and interesting, but the author made her so over the top ridiculous that it ruined her, plus the author completely forgot about Remi's precious doggie Fitz, and she had Remi run off to an island for a month to write her novel without telling us what she did with poor Fitz. The novel did have some interesting scenes, so I gave it two stars instead of the one I was initially contemplating. 

What else? I read His and Hers, a mystery/ thriller, which was pretty good, but I liked the Netflix series more. One of the reasons is because they had only six episodes, so they had to discard some of the bloated side-plots, and that made the story more streamlined and easier to follow. The show made me realize that one of the things I dislike about first-person narration, which is "I have a big secret I am not divulging to the reader even though we are in my head and I am obviously thinking about it," works perfectly well on the screen because that "nyah nyah" doesn't occur. We didn't even need to see the protags getting blackout drunk all the time so they (and the reader) wouldn't remember/ know what they did because there was very little narration. I'm also getting to the point where I'm tired of excessive alcohol consumption used as a plot device. Be more creative! 

Yesterday I went to the Orange County Zoo with a friend. It was the first time I'd been there. Small zoo, but easy to walk the whole thing (twice) and see a variety of cool beasties, such as owls, eagles, snakes, lizards, big cats, peacocks, parrots, etc. There was a petting area as well, but I didn't want to touch any animals. It's always so weird to see the goats with their rectangular pupils, and they probably think the same thing about my human eyeballs. One of the things I enjoy most about a zoo is how excited the little kids get to see all the creatures.

Hope all my readers are having a good Monday!

16 Sentences About 8 Whimsies

The title is a riff on the song “88 Lines About 44 Women,” which is a very weird, dark song, so of course I like it a lot ~ and yes I have a Spotify playlist based on numbers/ math, though some of the tunes I admit are a bit of a stretch. Spotify is a great place for indulging my OCD because I can make playlists themed to any whim and change them whenever I feel like it too (unlike my old themed CD’s).

Whims are my jam: joining Bluesky was a whim, and deactivating was also a whim. When I first signed up, I thought it might be a fun recreation of early lighthearted Twitter days, but it turned toxic right after 10/7 as the antisemites crawled out of their holes.

I don’t put up with antisemitism online, which is why I don’t have as many Facebook friends as I used to. I also refuse to tolerate Tr*mp buttkissers, so that leaves me a very narrow and tricky path to navigate ~ luckily, I have a close circle of local friends (aka meatspace) who feel similarly, or who at least aren’t trying to be deliberately offensive in every interaction. 

One thing I love about blogging (and I am following more bloggers now, though still in the teens, not 500 like I did on WP!) is that bloggers generally have such a wide variety of interests compared to folks on other platforms. I often find it difficult to limit myself to one topic even when I’m writing a book review ~ thoughts about unrelated subjects tend to creep in ~ but in a blog post anything goes, so it’s cool, and I’m glad I restarted this one on a whim back in 2024.

Speaking of books, I have now read six so far this year, and while that may sound like a lot to a normal person, I definitely feel that I have slowed my roll and may be able to recall more of what I have read, which will be helpful during book club meetings. I still don’t go out on work nights (and sometimes not even on weekends) or watch much TV, plus I have lost interest in painting, crafts, and beginning my own novels on a whim, so basically all I do in my free time is gobble up other people’s writing.

I also consume a lot of snacks, though I’m trying to grab healthier ones and not sugary treats, and as I have said before, the less sugar I eat, the less of it I crave, though it’s impossible not to partake in the homemade yummies a coworker brings to the office. In the last couple weeks, I’ve been exercising a little more than last year, like 4x per week instead of 3x, so yay for that.

Sometimes I miss writing, but not the obsession, if that makes sense, and while posting book reviews on Goodreads is fine and I will continue to do so, it’s not scratching my itch. Since I don’t want to begin a novel (not before I retire anyway if even then), I may try to satisfy this longing via blogging, including doing the upcoming April A-Z challenge via John Holton, where my theme would be whatever whimsy pops into my mind that day.

Whimsy is a great name for a cat, and I will try to keep it in mind for a fictional pet, but I suspect it’s another one of those flashes of brilliance that will disappear as soon as this post is published. I’ve had so many… or perhaps I haven’t… how will we ever know?

~*~

Written for John Holton’s Writer’s Workshop.

Weekend Recap

Happy last day of November. I had a fun friendsgiving, which included several board games, but my opinion of Thanksgiving food, even if perfectly prepared, remains unchanged: I don’t like it. I especially dislike turkey and do not eat any of it (chicken is fine, I like chicken, but everybody else wants turkey). Stuffing can be tasty, but only the way my mommy made it. Green beans and mashed potatoes are okay, but why bother? Now, I do enjoy a baked sweet potato with butter, but I don’t want them all syruped up in a casserole. Yuck. Then we come to the pie ~ I love pie! Why can’t I just have pie? I brought an apple crumb pie from The Flaky Apple Pie Company, baked it at the host’s house, and it was utterly delicious! Everyone loved it. Next year I’m getting cherry. Every pie they make is wonderful. If it were up to me, I would have an all-pie and only-pie Thanksgiving.

I have been trying to watch season two of A Man on the Inside, but I keep falling asleep. Maybe I shouldn’t put it on at 10pm when I am already in bed. I did watch the entirety of Red Joan, a Netflix WW2 drama about “the bomb,” starring Judi Dench and Sophie Cookson, both playing a British woman Joan Stanley at different ages. The story is loosely based on the life of a KGB spy and depicts Joan as a naive Cambridge physics student who becomes sympathetic toward communism due to her boyfriend’s influence. After graduation, she works in a nuclear research facility and passes information to the Soviets via her boyfriend’s sister. Normally I do not watch anything set in this time period, but I love Judi, and the premise sounded interesting, so I did. It was fabulous! I highly recommend it. 

I watched couple of Christmas romcoms too, which weren’t bad, but they were completely forgettable, so I can’t tell you what they were without going to my watch history… and I CBA. I am planning to see Song Sung Blue at the theater with game friends on Christmas Day and The Housemaid with book club peeps later that weekend. Looking forward to those as well as seeing my family for Chanukah. I did a puzzle on Friday; it was only 500 pieces, so I completed it in a few hours. I think I prefer those as opposed to the 1000 pieces ones, which take several days or a week. I am trying not to spend so much time reading the news and social media, except for my FB book club group, so solo games are a good distraction.

I have a lot of social plans coming up, the idea of which stresses me out a bit, even when I deliberately set it all in motion. To ease my anxiety, I spent too much money on Black Friday sales as well as other stuff I “needed.” Now I’m stressed about that instead. I console myself with the thought that I could have spent even more but didn’t. The nice thing is that most of my stuff will be arriving in separate packages, so I will have several fun mail-opening events, woohoo. 

As far as books, I guess I took a little break ~ the last book I read was on November 26. That was What She Saw by Mary Burton, a solid mystery novel, to which I awarded four stars. Yesterday I began a John Grisham novel, The Brethren, which is mildly intriguing, and I will probably finish it. I have several of his in my TBR pile. I’m trying to understand why I don’t fling this book into my DNF donation bag as opposed to all the romances and thrillers that have been so flung, and I guess it’s simply because he’s a better writer. His characters in this book are not likable, but they hold my attention regardless, and the plot threads make me wanna find out what happens and how they tie together. Is it worth noting that Grisham narrates in third person past tense, which is how books should be written, instead of the first person head hopping present tense atrocities we keep seeing in new fiction? Yes, there are exceptions, and I have enjoyed some FPHHPT novels, but that’s despite the FPHHPT not because of it. 

Tomorrow is weigh-in day for Inky and me!

Applesauce, Jello, and Saltines

Man, what a week. I started getting sick Sunday night with an upset stomach but didn’t realize I was sick-sick until Monday at work when I developed a constant cough. No one else was in the office then, thankfully. I stayed home the rest of the week because of coughing and fever. I coughed so much that I pulled a muscle in my abdomen. Until now, I never realized how many movements require use of the abdominals (hint: all of them!). Ow ow ow.

I’ve had no appetite, and the only things I want are in the title of the post. These are foods I never crave or even think about, unless I’m sick. I already had a box of saltines from my February sickness, so I paid for a Target delivery of the rest, along with a bunch of juice and tea. Why is jello so delightful when I’m ill, but so blech any other time? Same with applesauce, except on latkes. As far as the saltines, they’re the most boring cracker on the planet, but perfect when I don’t feel well.

Today, Saturday, I’m finally feeling somewhat better, though not exactly good. My temp is under 100, and my congestion has abated a bit. Last night, I did get a bunch of much-needed sleep. I hope to have enough energy to cook some pasta and veggies soon. I made plans with friends for Thanksgiving, so I’m taking it very easy and crossing my fingers.

I have now watched five seasons of The Connors and that’s enough. The actors who play Becky and Darlene are boring, and they get too much screen time. Laurie Metcalf as Aunt Jackie is the star of the show, imo, and hilarious. Overall, however, I can’t take any more of the same old whining and bad decisions. I read the teasers for S6, and it seems to be more of the same. Turns out that Inside Man has a new season, so that will be my next watch.

It took me all day to finish this post because I am so tired. I am happy to have all this extra cuddle time with Inky, who has been the absolute sweetest, though I will be happier when I am fully recovered. 

Some Stuff I Watched

I guess I am out of my paranoid mood and ready to fling opinions into public again like birdseed in the desert. It’s amusing to me how I used to say so much without giving a fig for privacy. My own, that is. But you can’t always be totally open about yourself without involving others, since most of our stories aren’t solo experiences. Luckily, I haven’t had drama of that type for many years, but I constantly see drama unfold on social media from the casual expression of opinion on whatever topic, so that sometimes gives me pause.

I finally watched Somewhere in Time (1980), which was sad and romantic, but the time travel “science” was so ridiculous that I couldn’t take it seriously. In a way, it reminded me of Blake Crouch’s novel Recursion, in which the “science” was infinitely more complex but also ultimately absurd. Both stories set up a loop of impossible events repeating without resolution. I also had a hard time believing that a successful writer would throw his current life away on a whim to find a woman in an old photo. Jane Seymour was incredibly beautiful though, so perhaps that was enough motivation. Christopher Reeve’s appearance struck me as fake, as if his face had been molded from plastic like a Ken doll. I know that isn’t true, but there was something very odd about him, and I had trouble getting into the story because of that as well. I watched it on Prime.

I also watched Death Becomes Her (1992), starring Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn. This had a crazy plot, centered around vain celebs and an anti-aging potion, along with bizarre special effects, like something out of a campy horror film. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t what I saw; I generally enjoy both actresses and was disappointed overall in the movie, despite a few funny moments. This was on Netflix.

Nobody Saw Us Leave is a new Netflix limited series (only five episodes) based upon a true story about two wealthy Jewish families in 1960s Mexico. The families are friends because of mutual business interests, and one of their sons marries another one’s daughter. It’s not quite an arranged marriage per se, but it’s clear the couple is not in love. After having two children, the wife begins an affair, and the man she falls in love with is her brother-in-law (her husband’s sister’s husband). After her husband discovers the affair, he informs his sister, and both are more humiliated than heartbroken. They probably would have done nothing more than sulk about this, but their father decides that his son must abduct his own children and leave the country. It’s not entirely clear why the father insists upon this, even as the situation becomes more complicated when the other family hires an ex Mossad agent to successfully track them down, but the story is compelling regardless. I probably missed some nuances because the dialogue was translated and dubbed, and some scenes were out of chronological order, but still I recommend it. The book (written by the daughter who was kidnapped) hasn’t been translated ~ if it ever is, I would read it. 

Nobody Wants This (rabbi and non-religious woman, both with cuckoo families, especially hers, fall in love) has returned for its second season on Netflix, and I binge-watched the entire season this weekend. It isn’t as crazy as it sounds because each episode is sitcom length and dissolves quickly in my mind like cotton candy. I find the whole show to be basically sans substance even though it’s purportedly about major life issues. Then again, so is The Connors (also a show I’ve been watching on Netflix, though not bingeing), which has received less attention but is much better. I find Kristen Bell pleasant to look at, but her character Joanne is unbearably stupid (until maybe the last couple episodes of S2, where she finally displays some insight). Also, I get annoyed with shows that portray a Jewish mother as pushy and obnoxious, but to be fair a lot of on-screen moms are portrayed this way because Hollywood writers find this tired old trope to be endlessly hilarious, apparently. The scenes with Seth Rogen as an unconventional rabbi were the funniest overall. 

There’s one thread I pulled out of the show that I both relate to and find interesting: the idea that we have in our minds of not necessarily the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend, but the concept of ourselves in a relationship. So, we repeat behaviors because we see ourselves as a person who does such and such thing without regard to the actual unique human being we are supposed to be getting to know. For example, a man always buys roses for his girlfriend’s birthday, oblivious to the fact that his new one is allergic, even though she has mentioned it. A woman always bakes cookies for her boyfriends, but her new guy is diabetic. These are extreme examples, but you see what I mean. People get stuck on a path of actions that don’t mesh with their current situation, yet they have trouble adapting to their new reality.

Anyway. I am looking forward to seeing the new biopic of Bruce Springsteen, which has just hit the theaters.

Pumpkin Spice Thoughts

The internet has turned (allegedly) normal adults into toddlers. A perfect example of this is the kerfuffle around pumpkin spice. Why should there even be an issue? If you like pumpkin spice, then yay there are a lot of products to choose from. If you hate pumpkin spice, then don't order any of these products. Maybe I missed the PS evangelist gang kidnapping peeps and forcing them to drink PS lattes? That's a possibility, since there is so much news it's hard to keep up. In the absence of someone forcing a PS hater to consume PS however, why are the haters so obsessed with hating on it? This is typical toddler behavior, and what do we say to cranky tots? Don't yuck my yum. To each their own. If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all. Etc.

I love some pumpkin/ pumpkin spice foods: lattes, cookies, cake, pie, and (surprisingly) tortilla chips from Trader Joe's. I'm neutral on others, and I particularly dislike the oatmeal and granola I tried. But instead of making a nasty meme about PS cereals, I simply have gone on to live my life without them. Other people enjoy the cereals, or they wouldn't continue to sell, and this has zero effect on my life. You could say the same thing about other food items I avoid, such as escargot, beef jerky, licorice, etc. I don't feel the need to insert an "eww" every time someone mentions them on socials. Every September however, without fail, the PS haters appear on social media with their mockery memes, and I just don't understand it.

Perhaps it's a way of bonding: nothing brings people together like a common hatred. There even used to be a dating site themed on this concept ~ apparently Hater Dater has morphed into a typical advice blog. It makes sense though ~ common dislikes are sometimes more important in assessing compatibility than common likes. For example, when I used to date (or try to), it didn't really matter that a man matched with me on liking rock music, kitties, and sushi. Someone truly in sync with me didn't enjoy watching sports all weekend, traveling extensively, or going to massively loud/ crowded events. Of course, shared must-haves are crucial in certain areas, such as whether one requires a monogamous relationship.

Speaking of (not) dating, I was chatting with friends yesterday during a pumpkin spice themed rock painting party, and I mentioned that at a certain point, sometime between 2011 (breakup with boyfriend of 2.5 years) and 2016 (ghosted by man after 2.5 months), I just said eff it and began doing whatever I pleased without worry that it wouldn't mesh with some hypothetical future beau. My current lifestyle would most likely be a total turnoff to any man, with my focus on cats, crafts, puzzles, romance novels, and romcoms. I also play a lot of board games, which some men are into, but that's just a coincidence. The gals and I have planned another couple events during October: more rock painting but combined with a swimming and BBQ party, and a visit to the pumpkin patch where we will act like silly little kids again. I'm excited! I'll post my painted rocks on IG ~ I really like my cute avo.

My autumn agenda includes more books, more movies, more fun with friends, and more pumpkin spice. I will be avoiding as much stress and drama as I can, which means less and less social media. Btw, I have read plenty of books since my last review, but there hasn't been anything interesting to say about them. I also finished the first season of The Morning Show, and it turns out that only S1 is available on Prime (it's disappearing soon in any case); supposedly, I have Apple TV through a friend, but I can't get it to work, so I probably won't be watching more. I thought S1 was very good. Tonight I plan to watch Swiped, the docu about Bumble, only because it stars Lily James.

Ten Things I Hate About You

Lately the internet is annoying me tremendously. I’ve been spending more time reading and watching TV instead, which is a good thing for sure, but why does the internet have to be so irritating?

1. If I am on a particular site, I don’t want to have to go somewhere else to access the content. Post your poem; don’t redirect me to your blog. Give me your opinion right there; don’t make me click on a stupid video. We used to call this clickbait; now it seems like business as usual.

2. What is up with these IG reels of nothing? Why do you post a “reel” instead of a normal picture or video that will appear in the feed. I don’t want these extras to distract from my scrolling or make me miss something important. Same on FB. I keep hiding the reels, but they return like brainless zombies. Or maybe I’m the brainless zombie for constantly expecting things to be better. But I am hungry for content!

3. The term “content creator” as a job description drives me bonkers. We are all content creators every time we make a post or respond to someone else’s post. It’s so absurd to elevate this ordinary behavior to an art form. Sure, there are real artists and real writers around the internet, but I don’t see Stephen King redirecting us to another site and asking for a subscription before we’re allowed to read his latest opinion on whatever thing.

4. I don’t mind ads, but when there are a zillion of them shoveled into one article, it’s really obnoxious. There are times an article is impossible to read because of all the ads loading, reloading, and flashing. Then you’re flung back to the beginning because you haven’t seen enough ads apparently!

5. App app app app. I don’t want to download a new app every time I feel like reading something. Give me a break. Same with being pummeled with the subscriber box. No, I don’t want to get a daily briefing, sheesh. Can’t I just please read this one damn thing?!

Argh!!!

6. Why is everything a series lately? It’s hard to find a standalone book or movie nowadays, but I enjoy the freedom of one and done ~ if I begin a detective story and notice it’s book 1 of X, then I worry the ending won’t be a real ending and will force me to continue. Same with shows on TV. I don’t necessarily want 17 seasons of a drama, even a good drama; most shows jump the shark in the third season, at best. (There are exceptions of course, which is why I said “most.”)

7. The internet has made most people too lazy to bookmark this blog and visit it (you can subscribe via email, for free! LOL). I don’t care that much, although it might be nice to read more comments, but if I am not served up in a feed, forget it. I’m just rolling around the outskirts of the internet like a tumbleweed in a ghost town.

8. I can’t stand it when posts aren’t in chronological order. That’s it. Very simple. Keep everything in date order. Quit mixing shit up.

9. The idea that if X is good a million X is better has got to go. For example, if I “like” a picture of a cat that doesn’t mean that I only ever want to see pictures of cats. I am not a robot! Technology is so sophisticated in some ways and so basic and clunky in other ways.

10. The proliferation of scams is truly mind boggling. It makes me want to go off grid and live in a remote cave. But then I would be cold. And hungry. And lonely. Plus there might be snakes in my cave, but I wouldn’t have a phone to google up how to deal with them. Sigh.

I guess no. 6 isn’t about the internet, oh well. If this were a popular blog, someone would nastily point that out and then say my whole post is a lie and I should be canceled. My friend D notes that social media is now a perpetual outrage generator, and it’s true. But it’s not anything new ~ when I first wandered onto the net in 1998, people were gleefully trolling others and making nuisances of themselves. I got caught up in that too. Why not lash out anonymously when I was in a bad mood? It released some of my ongoing anger, and then I could turn off the computer and be immune from any consequences.

Today, there’s very little ability to be anonymous, and there’s no such thing as turning off your computer. Your computer is in your sweaty hand 24/7 with a constant barrage of alerts and notifications. God forbid you should miss a second of the outrage and hate, which is more effective at keeping people engaged (and thus their eyeballs on the ads) than anything pleasant. The more successful communicators understand this, which is why we see the outrage progressing exponentially. 

I am experimenting on IG by following some celebs, to see if that livens up my experience. My friends don’t post much, so I am served up a bunch of cute animals in between the ads ~ I love the cute animals, but I am getting a wee bit bored. Let’s see what happens…