Unwritten Rules

Why is it an unwritten rule that women go first into an elevator? It’s annoying! First, this forces me to pay attention to the waiting group and see if there are other women there; if not, I have to step forward because the men are hanging back waiting for me to go. I don’t see why we can’t simply step up in order from the closest person. Second, I exit at the third floor out of 12, and if I go first, I often have to squish to the rear and then a few seconds later be all ‘scuse me ‘scuse me to get out. It would make a lot more sense to enter the elevator in the opposite order to our floor. Third, what if there’s a tarantula in the car? A man should go first to deal with that. 

This all makes me miss the upgraded elevator system we had at our old building because it programmed the cars to stop at the floors before you stepped on. You normally wouldn’t be in one that made a lot of stops, which cured issue two above. 

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I get that “small talk” is a way of greeting people, but I don’t see why we can’t be honest. I’ve bitched in the past about bank tellers and store clerks aggressively trying to chit-chat (I understand they are instructed to do so), and I received a bunch of pushback from folks who actually enjoy jabbering with strangers about their holiday plans and whatnot. Since then, I’ve figured out that I can answer minimally and ask the same question back, which usually eats up enough time. But this only works if you give positive answers, and the same is true with coworkers. It’s an unwritten rule that you must say “good” if anyone asks how your weekend was ~ if you say meh or okay, it throws the entire conversational rhythm out of whack. God forbid you reply that you had a migraine both days. 

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It seems to be an unwritten rule that whenever someone complains, we have to suggest how they should solve the problem when many times people simply enjoy the act of complaining. Also, when someone tells a tale of woe, it’s often because they want to feel heard/ seen; they are not necessarily asking for advice. Wait until they do ask before offering any. Plus there’s the whole barn door dilemma ~ by the time you give advice, the situation is already resolved. Take my December check-cloning fiasco: I know now that I should never write a check, but I still might enjoy venting about scammers. If you feel the need to give me advice, please come up with something I haven’t thought of yet so that we can forestall a future problem. Thanks! 

PS: I’m not addressing this post to any reader. None of you have done these annoying things.