Neighbors (April A2Z ~ Misty Memories)

Neighbor friend in Queens, NY

Welcome to my April A2Z posts! This time, I am officially signed up on the challenge sheet and will be visiting other bloggers on the list. My theme is "misty memories," which will include a bunch of rambling about old stuff in my life, and hopefully some of it will be accurate, but if not, there's no one around to contradict me. Today we continue with N for Neighbors.

I was born in Tarrytown, New York, and we moved to Queens soon afterward and then up to Buffalo a few years later. I have a few vague memories from Buffalo ~ more like flashes ~ though they could be wrong. My mother vacuuming and telling me about germs. Staring at earthworms with neighborhood kids after a rain. Eating Oreos at the kitchen table with a friend. Mom getting into an argument with a neighbor over Green Stamps. Mom framing a newspaper article about JFK and putting it up on the wall. Playing on the swings alone, falling off backwards, and hitting my head. 

My dad switched jobs, and we moved back to Queens. I went to kindergarten, which I barely remember, except for finger painting, which I enjoyed. The next year, we were in Tarrytown again. I don't think we had much money. My parents rented a one bedroom apartment; I used the bed, and they slept on a pull-out sofa in the living room so they could stay up later. My mom went back to work and had a mean old lady across the street babysit for me in the afternoons. In the summers, I attended a day camp, which I hated because it was full of sporty activities and kids who didn't like me because I was so unathletic. In school, the other kids mocked me for the same reason. 

We were in Tarrytown for two years, and then back to Queens we returned, where I went to third grade. This apartment building was fun, with neighbors from a bunch of different countries, and I actually enjoyed the socializing. I had a Japanese friend (a few years older) who taught me origami. An Indian neighbor taught my mom how to make chai. We were invited to a feast at the Trinidad neighbors' place where we sat on pillows on the floor. The Filipino neighbors had a party, and they played one 45 on repeat: "Sugar, Sugar." I had an alcoholic drink there, with my parents, when I was 9 years old. Times were definitely different!

The next year, my parents bought a house on Long Island with my father's parents. My grandmother hated it ~ she said she was "living in the basement." (It was one of those bi-level houses intended for two families.) I understand now that she was prone to depression, and moving away from the familiar triggered an episode. She could no longer walk to stores and had to wait for someone to drive her (she didn’t drive). She missed her friends. My grandpa got a part-time job and wasn’t around as much. I can see how this would be upsetting. The end came when she was mugged while walking with my grandpa. All those years she lived in the city and no muggings, but out in the 'burbs, bam, victim of a crime. We sold the house so she could go back to Queens. 

There were things I liked about living on Long Island, such as watching TV with Grandma in the "basement." We both loved The Brady Bunch. But I had a terrible time of it in fourth grade, made actual enemies of other kids, and was completely isolated from my peers. For a while things were OK in the friend department, and I did bead crafts with some girls on my block, but I think they were just using me because I had better beads and was willing to share. My misty memory is that one of these girls pushed me into the street when a car was coming, and I got so mad I threw a Coke bottle at her. Of all the times to have good aim, right? I think I hurt her, not sure, and after that no one in the neighborhood would talk to me. 

When my parents announced that we were moving to Middletown, New Jersey, I figured it had to be better than being the ostracized girl. Mostly it was... and I got a puppy too. The great thing about our NJ house was the big backyard with a weeping willow tree and an actual little creek. It was such a wonderful place to play, and I managed to make some neighbor friends who enjoyed make-believe and board games and crafts. We played a lot of badminton and ping pong. We even played baseball! It turned out I wasn't bad at everything athletic. I became good friends with two girls, for a couple years anyway. By seventh grade, they always wanted to hang out with the neighborhood boys, and I didn’t.

I already wrote about our move from New Jersey to Illinois, so I will link back to that if anyone is still reading along. I also wrote about our move from Chicago to California, but that wasn't part of the A2Z challenge.

We have made it past the halfway mark of the 2026 challenge. Hang in there, fellow A2Z-ers. You’re all doing great!