Reasonable Questions

Pondering life’s great mysteries ~ 1989

Reason triumphs over desire—

Or is it the other way ‘round?

Can logic douse our passion’s fire?

Reason triumphs over desire:

So we think as mammals higher;

Don’t want to be emotion bound.

Reason triumphs over desire—

Or is it the other way ‘round?

~*~

This quadrille triolet poem was inspired by Linda’s SoCS prompt of reason, though this post isn’t stream of consciousness. Unlike some poems however, it wasn't a struggle to get the rhymes or the wordcount (and in my world, these QT's must have 8 syllables per line because I like to make my own life difficult). As I was dealing with a migraine early this morning, the lines materialized in my mind while I was throwing up in the bathroom (TMI?). It’s been a tough week for my poor head in the heat wave, which thankfully has finally broken. No matter how well-behaved my migraines are in summer (and they were very polite this year), September weather triggers them unmercifully. That’s my reason/ excuse for failing to blog this week, though in truth if I had really wanted to, I would have. Confession: I returned to bingeing The Sopranos every night after work and am now at the end of S4. It’s such a good show!

Today I am getting my flu shot and updated Covid vax, which I encourage everyone to do, especially oldies like myself. The flu absolutely sucks when you're older; hell, even a cold is horrible. When I was a teen, colds were no big deal and barely impacted my lifestyle, such as it was, but now they totally mess me up for a full week plus. Ah, the joys of aging. Guess it still beats the alternative. 

Summer’s End

Dandelion from Pixabay

September showers

Signal the end of summer 

Rainy grey mornings 

Memories already mist

All the projects left undone 

~ Summer’s lease hath all too short a date ~ *

October beckons

Costumes and candy galore

Dreams dissolve daily

Floating fast into the past 

Replaced by holiday plans 

*William Shakespeare, Sonnet 18

~*~

Tanka puente written for the Tanka Tuesday Poetry Challenge (with alliteration).

Raining Diamonds

Image from Unsplash

Uranus and Neptune Are Raining Diamonds

[free verse inspired by a news article]

Gas giants made of methane,

Crushed by universal loneliness,

Turn blue and cry diamonds.

But a girl’s best friend isn’t so precious

With no one to collect the rain.

Forgotten drops of carbon

Become planetary garbage;

There’s no lapidary to cut and set,

Showing off the facets in a nest

Of black velvet with a discreet price tag;

No “surprise” starry-eyed proposal

Awaits on one knee at the beach

Documented for Instagram.

The diamonds keep falling, falling,

Far beyond our grasping fingers,

Unappreciated, inconspicuous, 

Left to eternal rest 

In a celestial treasure chest.

~*~

Lisa at dVerse asks for a "weather" poem, but she didn't specify that it had to be Earth's weather, so I thought I'd share this older poem I wrote for my book Recollections May Vary. I may have posted it on my (since deleted) WordPress blog, in which case some of you may have seen it previously.

A Pearly 'Podge

With my pink pearls in Queens, NY (1988)

I'm participating in Joyce's Hodgepodge again this week by responding to the following questions.

1. What's something on your August calendar you're looking forward to? Or dreading if that's easier to answer. 

My daughter and son-in-law are treating me to a production of The Phantom of the Opera at the end of August, and I am very much looking forward to that, as I have never seen it live, only a bit of it on TV. I'm also seeing Project Hail Mary at a friends' house, and I plan to make alien-themed cupcakes to bring for the potluck. I finally ordered a proper cupcake carrier so my treats don't get all smushed in transit.

2. August 5th is National Oyster Day...do you partake? How do you feel about pearls? 

When I was a kid on the East Coast we ate raw oysters all the time, and they were delicious! Nowadays, it's really dangerous to eat raw shellfish, so I never do. I'm even wary of sashimi (got very sick from it in 2016 around the time I met the ghost guy) and usually order cooked fish with the very occasional exception of tuna or salmon (the crabmeat or fake crabmeat in California roll sushi is always cooked). My mom made oyster stuffing a few times, and I absolutely loved it, though generally there aren't that many opportunities to order cooked oysters. I'm not a fan of oyster soup, which for some strange reason my parents always had on New Year's Eve. 

As far as pearls, they're okay. I have some pretty pink pearls that I received as an engagement gift, but I don't wear them often (see the photo above). I enjoy the scene in Mamma Mia Here We Go Again when Donna and Bill go diving and find an oyster with a pearl in it.

3. Tell us about a time when you felt like 'the world was your oyster'. 

Uh, I don't know. I guess the good life was mine when my girls were little and my ex's business was successful. I didn't have to work. We had a nice house, and I didn't worry about money. My parents were still around and healthy. Etc. That lasted from around 1992 to 1998.

4. Trip Advisor lists seven islands in the US that require no passport (for US citizens). If you're answering today from outside the US you'll still need to produce yours. An-y-way, have you been to any of the seven? Let's pretend you get an all expense paid trip to one this month...which one do you choose and why? 

Catalina Island California~Martha's Vineyard Massachusetts~Mackinac Island Michigan~Key West Florida~South Padre Island Texas~or Kauai Hawaii

I have been to Catalina and Kauai, both of which are gorgeous. Since I am not a fan of plane travel, I would choose an all expense paid trip to Catalina again (from where I live, you take a ferry over).

5. Sylvia Plath is credited with the following- 

"August rain: the best of the summer gone, and the new fall not yet born. The odd uneven time."

Agree or disagree? In other words, how do you feel about this month? 

I don't feel the best of summer has gone, at least not this year. As I said at first, I have at least two fun events coming up in August and possibly more. While I used to look forward to September, I don't now because of the beastly hot weather and horrible winds here in coastal Southern California. September is migraine central, basically (although mine have improved a bit, so we'll see). I do enjoy October, when it cools off a bit and we start talking about Halloween.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

I didn't get a great night's sleep last night, so I am enjoying a slow, lazy day of not doing much, while trying to work up the energy for aerobics. Later, I will watch S3 episode 7 of House of the Dragon.

Tiger Striped Hodgepodge

Meta AI created image of "tiger fudge"

Happy last week of July! I am participating in Joyce's Hodgepodge again this week by answering the following questions.

1. What was the last thing you celebrated? 

We celebrated a friend's birthday with a Friday dinner at BJ's and seeing The Odyssey. I enjoyed the film but it was very loud, very long, and very violent. I wore earplugs the whole time, which someone told me to do, and I definitely appreciated that advice. Saturday the party continued at the Orange County Fair where we attended the fabulous (and glittery) combo cover band concert of Kenny Metcalf as Elton John and ABBA LA. Very fun! I wandered around the fair for a couple hours, mostly staying indoors to see the exhibits because I enjoy them and also because the weather has been extremely hot and humid here. Sunday (today) my family got together for a pool party and to celebrate (a bit belatedly) my grandson's birthday. He seemed happy with the FIFA themed foosball tabletop game I gave to him.

2 July 29th is International Day of the Tiger. Besides the wild animal itself, when you hear the word tiger what's the first  person-place-thing-whatever that comes to mind? 

Tiger fudge. This ridiculously delicious treat is made with melted milk chocolate chips, melted white chocolate chips, and heated peanut butter. You pour each layer in a pan separately and then swirl a knife through the whole thing to make it stripey. Refrigerate it until completely cold and then cut it into little squares. Meta AI didn't know what tiger fudge was, but after I described it, I ended up with the above pic, which I think is adorable.

3. The expression 'eye of the tiger' describes someone with intense focus, determination, and the drive to succeed. What area of your life are you currently bringing that kind of energy to?  

I don't have this level of focus and determination any longer. I prefer to do things at a moderate pace, probably because when I was focused and determined, it didn't lead to the success I wanted, so why not enjoy life a bit more? For example, I no longer force myself to get up at 4AM and write for three hours before work. That didn't lead to publishing success, so I might as well get more sleep.

4. What was the last meal you cooked? 

Hahaha. I don't cook for one person (myself), except for the simplest things like an occasional omelet. It's too hot to cook now anyway, and I prefer salads and fruit bowls with yogurt or cottage cheese.

5. Describe your July using exactly five words. 

Hot, humid, exercising, reading, blogging.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

I had over 3000 views on this blog yesterday, which is disturbing, since I know they're almost all bots. What do they want from me? I think the massive view numbers began when I did April A2Z this past April, and they've been rising steadily. Before that, I hardly had any visitors, so the bots must scrape blog addresses from public lists, such as A2Z.

Sunday Noodling...

 

Yummy udon noodles (my photo)

Even though the air quality around me has generally been in the acceptable zone (except for one day last week), my eyes have been SO UNBEARABLY ITCHY again. Sometimes they get so bad, I have to hold a cold, wet paper towel over them. Generally, I am better off when I can stay indoors, but I do have to go to work. And to game nights. And to the grocery store. Oh well. It could be worse ~ I could be blind.

I bought an automatic cat feeder for the (very rare) nights I might not be home at 6-7pm to feed Inky on our established schedule, but programming it takes a degree in rocket science. I have it sitting behind me in parts right now so as not to use up the batteries while I'm trying to figure it out. I decided to take a break to blog instead. I'm only going to use the auto-feeder once in a while, but even so I need to test it out when I'm home to be sure it works. The meals via the feeder will be kibble, of course, and Inky is on a wet food diet, which she seems pretty happy with, but luckily she adores kibble. She'd probably be happier eating it every meal instead of the wet, but vet says wet is best, so that's what we're doing except for the rare occasions I'm out at dinnertime. 

For a while now, I've been participating in Fandango's Flashback Friday, but that will be coming to an end shortly because all my old blogs have disappeared from the Wayback Machine. It's funny that I requested removal some time ago, but they asked for a whole bunch of information that I didn't have access to, so I let it go. Since then, I've made use of it by scavenging for old posts I can use for the FFF prompt, but now I will only have the previous two years of this blog, which isn't a lot. I wasn't even blogging every day in 2024 or even for most of 2025. Don't get me wrong: I am happy I have been cut from the internet archive. It bothered me to be on there in the first place after I learned it existed. This current blog is randomly getting crawled by them, despite the fact that I opted out of searches and stuff. Whatever.

Regarding stats, the daily views still seem to be too high, but I'm trying not to obsess about it. They're no longer over 1000, but even 300 seems out of line, considering the minuscule number of comments I get per post, not counting my own. I know people often read without comment (I do too), but even so. Not sure about this Feedly app I'm using either, as huge chunks of time pass with no updates, and I know it's not a true picture, since I follow myself. Last week, one of my own posts didn't show up in Feedly for over 24 hours. That said, Feedly is better by far than Blogger's reader, so unless something else comes to my attention, I guess I will continue to use it.

I went to Michael's this morning to get a birthday present for my friend, and all the Halloween stuff was out. Whether or not I end up doing anything special for Halloween this year, it still gives me great joy to see all the decorations. Too bad Party City has disappeared (the tiny little section they set up in Staples does not count); I used to love going in throughout the year to browse their costumes and accessories.

If anyone cares, I'm still working out every day. Some of the Leslie Sansone videos I bought off eBay aren't as great as the ones I already had, but that's fine... they still provide some variety. I need to go do one now, finish dealing with the cat feeder, and maybe schedule more posts for the week. It's getting up to the dreaded end-of-month at work, so you know what that means. Super stress!

Father's Day Hodgepodge

Dad and me in 2011, RIP

I'm participating in Joyce's Hodgepodge again this week. Happy Father's Day!

1. Summer's here!  In the northern hemisphere anyway. If you're in the southern hemisphere substitute winter for the word summer. What do you love most about summer? What's your biggest summer pet peeve? 

I love that my commute gets better because school's out. I love the Orange County Fair. I love warm days and popsicles dripping down my hand.

Toward the end of summer, the beastly dry and hot Santa Ana winds return. Instead of wind blowing from the ocean, it blows toward the ocean, filling our coastal air with all the dirt and dust from Inland California. It's really disgusting and gives me a migraine.

2. What song always reminds you of summer? 

Anything by the Beach Boys, of course! 

3. What's something you remember about your childhood summers? Do you think kids today get to enjoy summer the way you did as a child? Elaborate. 

Going to the beach with my mom. Trying to learn how to draw dogs from a book. Playing Battleship and Clue with neighborhood friends. Pretending our picnic table was a pirate ship. Riding my bike to Dairy Queen for a Mr. Misty. Reading romance novels. Watching TV. Trying to get a tan. Spending a lot of time alone.

I'm not one who likes to wax rhapsodic about the olden days when everything was supposedly better. I think that's BS, honestly. I had a lot of lonely times, and I was bored a lot too. Maybe today's kids are scheduled a little too much, but overall I think it's cool that parents try to make sure they have fun things to do with other kids during summer, while also learning new skills and getting exercise.

4. We celebrate Fathers Day on June 21st. Do you favor your dad in looks or temperament? Tell us something about your dad. Or your husband as a dad. Or a son/son-in-law as a dad. Or your grandpa. 

As you can see from the above pic, I look a lot like my dad. My temperament is similar to his as well: I'm introverted, introspective, and wordy. Usually I'd make fudgy brownies or chocolate chip cookies for my dad on Father's Day ~ he had a big sweet tooth, as I do. I miss him.

5. Let's wrap up with a summer this or that:

flip flops or sandals

beach or pool 

watermelon or peaches

shorts or sundress

iced coffee or ice cold lemonade

amusement park or water park

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

My ex-husband, the father of my children, is dying in hospice. It's a tough time for us right now, and I may not post or comment much this week. 

Thanks for understanding.

The Last Time I Saw Oakland

On the way to Oakland Airport, November 2021

Memory’s shadows 

Blur into a tapestry 
Collage of sunsets

*

This photo is the last one I took in the Bay Area. I used to visit every couple months to see my daughters before they moved back down to SoCal. When my youngest first started at UCB (her sister joined her in Berkeley later when she got a job in the area), I made the 7-8 hour drive alone, until that fateful day when my car overheated on July 4, 2013. I managed to find an open service station, and they did a temporary fix, but I could no longer use the air conditioning. By the time the temperature reading hit 108, I figured I was going to die. I left the freeway and stopped at a Jack in the Box. Then I called my girls to tell them I loved them and to say goodbye. They told me to quit being such a drama-llama and get the JitB’s address so they could pick me up. Turns out that many people don’t actually know the address of where they work! Wtf? They found a manager who knew, and my girls came to rescue me. I rode to Berkeley in an AC’d car with my eldest, while my youngest drove the hot box. On the return trip, I took Highway 1 (PCH) due to it being cooler, but that took over 10 hours.

Reader: that was the last time I drove to the Bay!*

Flying isn’t my favorite thing, but I did it from 2013 to 2022, in order to see one or both girls. My youngest moved to Los Angeles in 2016, and my eldest relocated to San Diego County in 2022. I am sort of in the middle now here in Orange County, which suits me fine. There are a lot of good things up in NorCal, but as I have said before… I am a homebody and prefer to stay local.

~*~

Inspired by Jill’s Haiku Fridays.

*Edited to add that I did drive to the Bay Area in 2020 for Thanksgiving, as we were all still freaked out about Covid, and I wasn’t going to deal with strangers in the airport or on a plane. Newer car, no issues.

Flashback Friday: Questions

 

Somewhere in time...

I'm participating in Fandango's Flashback Friday today with a post from May 8, 2020 that I found on the Wayback Machine for my old WP blog. These were questions from a beloved blogger who has since passed away. RIP Melanie.

FUNQ’s 

1. What’s your favorite holiday/celebration?

I enjoy any low key holiday when I can wear a cute kitty tee shirt and possible sparkly hat plus either go out to dinner or have a themed potluck. Not a fan of big complicated holidays that involve a lot of work.

2. Do you enjoy snow, if you have it in your area?

We do not get snow near the beach in Orange County, California (that I know of), but I enjoy looking at pics of winter scenes elsewhere. I wouldn’t mind visiting some snow again someday. Oh hi! Brrrr! Bye!

3. What do you think of the current news (generally, not today specifically)?

Argh! 

4. Dog or cat or guinea pig/ferret/fish/bird?

Love kitties! Doggies are nice too. If I were wealthy, I’d want a gorgeous aquarium full of beautiful fishies. Pets are a lot of work though, even cats, when they’re inside as they should be. 

5. Do you like bacon?

I confess I do, but only super duper crispy bacon, almost burnt. Most places don’t make it crispy enough for me. I don’t make it at home because I don’t like my place to smell of meat. I’m fine never having it.

6. If you’re more vegan or vegetarian (someone please explain the difference. Briefly. I get confused!), what’s your favorite veggie?

Vegans don’t eat or use any products from animals; vegetarians just don’t eat meat. I don’t eat much meat these days, but I’m not vegetarian. I might go a few weeks with no meat, but then I’ll have an Egg McMuffin. My favorite veggies are mushrooms, beets (roasted), zucchini, and spinach!

7. Sunshine or rain/snow?

I like sunny days, but rain is good for us, so I don’t mind it. Mostly I enjoy overcast days without blindingly bright light.

8. Frozen treat on a hot day?

I love an iced mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks with whipped cream. Yummy! Frozen lemonade is fab too, but it has to be at the fair. My friend told me a few years ago you can buy them at the grocery store and they don’t cost $6.00 per little cup, but I want to overpay AT THE FAIR! 

9. Do you have a favorite type of tree?

Yes, a weeping willow. We had one in our backyard in New Jersey and it was awesome.

10. What generational nomenclature do you use? (explanation:  which generation’s lingo do you most identify with? Or are you a linguist who embraces ALL the words from every generation? )

I love words, but I was a teenager in the 1970s, so I probably use lingo from that era the most, including a lot of swearing (I try not to here). It’s all good, and I like to keep up even if I don’t use whatever is current.

Great questions!

October (April A2Z ~ Misty Memories)

At a murder mystery party, 2012

Welcome to my April A2Z posts! This time, I am officially signed up on the challenge sheet and will be visiting other bloggers on the list. My theme is "misty memories," which will include a bunch of rambling about old stuff in my life, and hopefully some of it will be accurate, but if not, there's no one around to contradict me. Today we continue with O for October.

October has always been one of my favorite months, but I don’t like September or November, so I usually will say summer is my favorite season. September in SoCal is hot, windy, and disgusting for at least the first half, and I am plagued with migraines. November means Thanksgiving, my least favorite holiday, and I felt that way even before the ghosting episode. October has great weather though and all the fun of Halloween. As a kid, I didn’t appreciate Halloween much, probably because I didn’t have many friends, but as an adult, I adore it. I love costumes, candy, and the whole gestalt.

The above pic was taken at an immersive, interactive murder mystery party. This was the second Halloween since my divorce was final, and I had begun to make friends and socialize out of my usual comfort zone. It was a ton of fun. Since then, I’ve made it a point to do at least a little something festive each year in October. The great thing about this holiday is that it carries no burdens of family/ cooking obligations. While I love seeing my family, I don’t enjoy feeling forced to do things a certain way because of tradition or whatever. And I don’t like to cook! I also don’t like feeling bad about my dislike of cooking, as I sometimes do on other holidays. 

Returning to the theme of misty memories… one year when I was around 6, my mom made a clown costume for me, and we went trick or treating. The costume was hot and uncomfortable, and I decided I never wanted to do it again. For many years, it was more fun to stay home, hand out candy, and admire other kids’ clever costumes. Fast forward to age 12 when I actually had a couple friends (Middletown, NJ). They insisted that we should all go trick or treating. I said we were too old, and I didn’t have a costume besides. They said I could improvise as a gypsy. So, I put on a dress with a swishy skirt, a bunch of makeup, and a pile of fake jewelry. It went OK until a man laughed at me and asked if I was supposed to be a streetwalker. Then I had to explain to my friends what that was. Very embarrassing.

October in SoCal usually brings relief from the gross migraine-inducing heat and wind, so that in itself is a reason to feel positively toward the month. This year, Halloween is on a Saturday, so hopefully something super fun will be on the agenda.

Migraines (April A2Z ~ Misty Memories)

Unbaked cookies courtesy of my daughter 

Welcome to my April A2Z posts! This time, I am officially signed up on the challenge sheet and will be visiting other bloggers on the list. My theme is "misty memories," which will include a bunch of rambling about old stuff in my life, and hopefully some of it will be accurate, but if not, there's no one around to contradict me. Today we continue with M for Migraines.

I feel like I’ve had headaches forever, but my first true migraine hit at age 16, while I was making chocolate chip cookies at my friend Kate’s house (Cary, IL). We were nibbling raw dough, as you do, and it certainly wasn’t the first time I had done this. I started to feel nauseated and dizzy, so I went to lie down on her sofa. The pain soon hit, only on one side, like a knife through my temple. I couldn’t tolerate any light, so Kate drove me home in my car, where I stayed on the sofa in the dark until my parents got home. My dad drove Kate home, while my mom gave me an ice pack. Migraines run in both sides of our family, she told me.

I don’t think I had another one for a long time, though I still had plenty of normal headaches. The next one I recall struck on the flight to California (age 22), when I felt so sick and dizzy I could hardly walk off the plane. The sunlight was blinding. I don't know what happened after that... The migraines became more frequent after the move, and I eventually saw a doctor (my dad's), who prescribed Cafergot, the go-to med at the time. It didn't work, so the doc concluded that I didn't have migraines. 

He was a pretty crappy doctor, but my father liked him because he'd been an English major, and they talked about James Joyce. I guess he was good for the standard overweight, middle-aged guy with high BP and cholesterol, but I would have preferred someone who knew more about biology, neurology, etc. Later, I found my own doctors, but until the miracle drug sumatriptan arrived on the scene in the 1990s, no one was of much help.

By the time I tried suma, I was married with children and lived a relatively normal, active life despite being incapacitated by migraines a few times per month. At first, suma was injectable and worked instantly, but then that method became too costly, so I switched to pills. The pills are fantastic, but sometimes they take a while to work. It's fine. I'm one of the lucky ones. Some get no relief from any kind of medication, and some folks’ pain is much more debilitating than mine. I can mostly function with a migraine unless it’s severe. For a while, I also took a preventative called Topamax, which completely knocked out all migraines for a year, but then it stopped working well, plus I didn't like the side effects, so I quit.

Everyone has ideas about migraines. Do this, don't do that. My aunt got relief from pickle juice. Have you heard about the detox from preservatives? Eat more protein. Gluten causes 'em. Fake sugar is poison. Chocolate is the culprit. Cheese! Alcohol! Are you drinking enough water? Yada yada. I've heard them all. Mine do have some triggers: strong perfume and other noxious odors like the smell of tar or paint, cigarette smoke, bright flashing lights, and loud repetitive noise. Other things, such as alcohol, sleep disruptions, and stress may or may not trigger one. Weather is a factor: bright sun, cold wind, low pressure, high pressure, blah blah blah. 

Most days, I wake up with a headache that randomly turns into a migraine once a week or so; other times it just fades away after I start moving around. A hot shower and caffeine usually make me feel much better. Sometimes Excedrin Migraine works so I don't have to take a suma tablet (insurance allows only 9 every 30 days, which is I accept because taking more than that renders the drug less effective). It's rare that I get a migraine later in the day without a trigger present.

I also have chronic neck pain, which gets worse from time to time and can morph into a migraine. There are some topical medications I use to relieve a bit of that. I try to be mindful and deal with these issues as best I can and stay philosophical about it all. Keeping to daily routines and avoiding drama helps to reduce migraine frequency.

Antisocial Butterfly

For an antisocial introverted hermit, I’ve sure been going out and partying a lot! And when I say partying, I mean decorating themed cookies with my book club and hanging with some fellow old folks to talk about grandkids and such. It’s Day Three of this whirlwind of activity, and tonight I am playing online board games with a third group of peeps. Craziness. 

I had a bit of a sad yesterday when I realized that I no longer have any of my old blogs archived. Not sure what happened there, but my new philosophy is to deal with things as they are and not moan and groan about how I wish they would be. Well… maybe a just a little M&G, depending on the sitch. I still have some stuff from my old WP public blog available via the Wayback Machine, which used to annoy me because I never gave them permission to keep my writing available after I delete it, but since it’s too bothersome to get it taken down, I will use it for my own purposes instead.

Good news! I finished the insanely difficult 1000-piece puzzle I began over a week ago (had some help the first day), and now I’m ready for a puzzle break. I think I’ll try sketching something. I printed a swan outline for a guide, so hopefully it turns out decently.

It’s been a struggle in the migraine department with the heat and the wind. Crossing my fingers that tomorrow is better. Oh, I finished Stephen King’s epic time-travel novel 11.22.63, to which I awarded five stars on Goodreads (plus added it to my favorites list). I highly recommend it! Yes, it’s over 800 pages, but it’s so worth the time. I think it was Roy who encouraged me to read the book after I mentioned that I enjoyed the miniseries. Thanks Roy!

Summer Journey

A spear of lightning stabs the night;

Lacy clouds shroud the mourning moon;

Tracks cross the dusty riverside;

The soundless pack moves through the gloom.

They traipse past symbols on a rock:

A promise broken ages past;

The sun awakens blister hot;

Their pace stays brisk, their eyes like glass.

They search for water off the trail—

Cool blue moment’s frolic unplanned;

Then onward, onward nose to tail,

An endless trek on stolen land.

~*~

Written for the Sunday Whirl Wordle 745 using the prompt words promise trail rock symbols moon spear shroud cross sun tracks stolen water.

Zero Down (triolet quadrille)

Zero down and zero debt

I have no skin in this game 

Never gamble, never bet

Zero down and zero debt

Slipping through their sticky net

They don’t even know my name 

Zero down and zero debt

I have no skin in this game 

~*~

I wrote this for a dVerse prompt, but I am not dealing with Mr. Linky, so if only three people read it, that’s fine. This is my new blogging zen: shrugging off stats means I don’t have to jump through hoops to participate. When I feel like writing something, I do, and it’s irrelevant how many views it gets. The “zero down” phrase kept rattling around in my brain until the rest of the lines arranged themselves into the required 44 words, and a triolet form felt right. Coincidentally, I am currently reading a little book of zen parables on my Kindle app, and the latest story was about a box of nothing being the most valuable. Why? Because it’s no burden to carry on your journey. 

~*~

There’s a new scam making the rounds, and it targets authors with books on KDP that don’t sell. Some of the emails sound legit, with the sender babbling on about details of my book as if she has actually read it. Then she wants to promote my book on Medium or BookTok or wherever and give me better keywords for SEO. These emails never mention costs to me, but you know that is the point. Let’s find people making no money and ask for some, hey what? I doubt Stephen King is getting these solicitations. The weird thing is how all of a sudden I am getting multiple emails per day with this nonsense as if some master scammer has just put me on a list. Most of the emails are trash and sound completely fake, but a few sound like someone or something has done a bit of research. Too bad for them, since I got the fake ones first and now mark all as spam.

~*~

So, Inky and I had our weigh-in on Monday, the first of the month. I’m pleased to report that Inky has lost one-half pound in two months, which is a nice, steady rate and puts her at about 33% of her goal. I also lost one-half pound from October 1, which puts me at about 7% of my goal. Clearly, I need to take some lessons from my cat ~ perhaps I should chase toy mice around the house for an hour every day. On an unrelated note, my migraines have improved lately, which could be from a better pillow/ reduced neck pain or less junk food or the cooler weather or some other random thing I will never figure out.

On Being Powerless

No, this isn’t about politics or the patriarchy; it’s about how I was literally without electricity on Saturday from 3pm until Sunday at 8am due to this jackass. Despite the obliteration of his vehicle, apparently he was fine, but around 450 homes had to suffer through the night without power due to his drunken recklessness. 

At first it wasn’t too bad because it had stopped raining and there was plenty of sunlight. The days are growing shorter though, and soon it became obvious that (1) the power wasn’t returning anytime soon, and (2) I needed to find some light to read by since I couldn’t watch TV. I was trying to conserve my phone battery charge, so I didn’t open the Kindle app.

I lit three candles, thinking I could read by candlelight like people did in the olden days, but that didn’t work at all because they barely made a glow. I tried to hold a flashlight to read, but that was too cumbersome. I have a camping “torch” for emergencies, and this counted, so I fired it up. Ahh! Lots of light, though still not enough for reading. I fed Inky, then contemplated my evening. SCE sent a notification that the power should return at 1am.

I decided to go out. Alone! On a Saturday night! First, I bought a ticket online to the movie Now You See Me: Now You Don’t at 8:30pm at Metro Pointe. Then I drove over to MP and decided to have dinner at Boudin, the San Francisco bread restaurant. They were out of bread bowls, so I couldn’t get the butternut squash soup I was craving. They couldn’t make my favorite brie grilled cheese either because they were out of fig jam. So I ordered a boring salad, which lived up to my low expectations. At least there was plenty of electricity. 

It was a while until the movie, so I browsed in some stores, but I really dislike shopping in meatspace after being spoiled with online shopping. I don’t even know how to shop anymore ~ where was the algorithm to show me what I might want to see? I was faced with all this stuff and no way to filter it. If I looked at an item, there was no helper showing me similar things I might like; I had to keep searching on my own. Meh. I went to the theater early, hung out, texted my kids, etc. My phone battery had recharged from the drive, so all was good.

The movie was OK. Too much action and not enough magic tricks and relationship drama. The plot was overly complicated too ~ was it trying to be a Bond flick? Idk. The first two films in the series were much better, but at least I had something to do for a few hours. There was hardly anyone else in the theater, so I switched seats for a better one. (How do they even make enough money to pay rent?) When I got out, I became a little nervous. All the stores and restaurants were closed, and MP was completely deserted. I had to walk back to my car like an old, lame gazelle on the open savanna (my foot had cramped up during the movie). Luckily, there were no lions around, so I made it back in one piece. 

Unfortunately, SCE revised their repair time estimate from 1am to 9am. I didn’t get much sleep because I was scared of all the things that could go wrong. What if the power never came back on? Around 4am, I gave up altogether and had a Diet Coke, but the caffeine hit was minimal. The torch gave off plenty of light in the bathroom for a shower, so I managed to get dressed normally, feed Inky, etc. Then I went to Starbucks for a proper jolt of java and a warm cinnamon bun. So good. I drove to the beach and back to charge my phone, and when I got home, there was plenty of light to read by.

SCE beat their own estimate and restored our power at 8am. Hurrah! They are absolute aces for working through the night. Of course, as soon as the electricity was back on, I discovered that the internet was out. Unlike SCE, Spectrum doesn’t send frequent helpful updates, and you have to hunt them down yourself to find out what’s happening. This had nothing to do with the crash; Spectrum just goes out whenever it has an opportunity. Oh yeah, it was due to “the storm,” which wasn’t even that severe here. Sure, Jan. (It was back that night.)

The rest of Sunday was normal, and my friend L came over to play games in the afternoon. I taped my kitty puzzle and hung it on my bedroom wall. If you’ve kept up with my puzzle saga, you may be interested to know that I “fixed” the missing piece by taping the matching section of the picture behind that spot. It worked great! You can hardly tell unless you know. 

My eyes were bothering me a lot on Sunday, which I attributed to missing sleep. But it turns out I caught a sicky of some sort. Monday I coughed all day, had an upset tummy, developed a fever that evening, and can barely sleep. I will stay home from work today because there will be others in the office. Boo. Being sick sucks. 

Happy October

Welp, Inky and I are officially on a diet. I took her to the vet Monday for her first checkup, and as soon as I picked up her carrier I thought… hmm, there seems to be a lot more cat here than when I brought her home three months ago! She’s gained two and a half pounds, which is a significant amount for a small-framed kitty. Vet says she should be around 9 even, so we will aim for that. Since my weight has crept up too, it’s the buddy diet system for us. Solidarity! Today I began a new blog to document our progress, but I’ve kept it private for now. I might decide to rant about other stuff in there, who knows.

I do enjoy Inky's pudgy-wudginess, particularly because Gatsby became so thin at the end. Her extra padding makes me happy that she's a healthy creature and will hopefully be around a good long time. But that's selfish. Inky should be at the right weight for her optimal health, so we will get back there. She is so vibrant, and her fur is so soft and shiny. She loves to play now and has her favorite toys, one of which (feather wand) she likes to bring into our bed every night. It's too cute!

Anyway. The disgusting heat wave is over, TG, and I have a lot of social activities planned for October. Hopefully, my migraines will get the memo and stay away (I did have to take meds this morning, boo). I’m back into jigsaw puzzles! They’re such a great way to relax and zone out from the news and all the yuck online. (I guess I'm trying to do a bit of dieting regarding social media and the news as well as the traditional food restrictions. Gotta take care of my mental/ emotional health too!) I created a method to cover them when I am not actively working on them, so the pieces won't get disturbed by kitty curiosity, but it’s a clunky system. I have this cool plastic tray table with drawers and a cover in my Amazon cart, which I hope goes on sale next week during Prime Days; I will buy it either way. 

My memories of working on puzzles with my mom are of the 1500-2000 piece ones, but those are too big for my table. I have found that even a 1000 piece puzzle is a big commitment for one person to do alone, especially if it's not an "easy" puzzle with distinctive areas. I'm working on one right now that's a bear (not an actual bear), but I like it, so I will finish it, even if it takes me two weeks. The tray table I want to buy is only for 1000 pieces or fewer (a few brands have the "wrong" dimensions, so I will need to pay attention to that if I buy new 1000 piece ones), and my thinking at the moment is that I probably will stick with 500 piece puzzles. There seem to be more of them, and they're not so overwhelming. It's infinitely easier to have a puzzle buddy for the larger ones, but there's just me doing them now. I am not a puzzle prodigy, a la the movie Puzzle ~ I'm a puzzle plodder. If I get a dozen or so pieces in one short session, then that's a win. That's a great movie, btw. I hope to watch it again someday.

I'm enjoying the (slightly) cooler weather and pumpkin spice everything. I don't even mind the earlier dark. Off to do some aerobic exercise!

Malibu Chicken

Back in Illinois, my college boyfriend S used to nag me about my eating habits in various ways, despite the fact that he was pretty odd about food himself. He would only eat a half dozen or so things and never vegetables or fruit: meat, potatoes, bread, mac & cheese, corn flakes, etc. I didn't care what he ate or didn't eat, but one thing that bothered him a lot is if I ordered a drink and didn't finish it. Why? Who knows! Psycho, of some indeterminate kind (there are other reasons besides food that I say this). Anyway, we went to the Sizzler for dinner once, and I ordered the Malibu Chicken (a small chicken patty with a slice of ham and melted cheese on top). I wasn't sure I liked it, which made him get super critical. Why did you order a weird thing like that? Why are you still eating it if you aren't sure it's good? Etc. It was so annoying! Obviously, this conversation had a big emotional impact on me as I remember it so clearly 40+ years later.

Sunday I was invited to have lunch and play games at the local Sizzler. I hadn't been to a Sizzler since my 20s, and naturally I immediately thought of my bad date with college boyfriend. Malibu Chicken was still on the menu, so of course I had to order it. I liked it! Very tasty, and a nice small portion so not horribly unhealthy (I had veggies for my side). As far as games, we played my Monopoly Deal card game, Flip 7, and Rummikub. I would have played Ticket to Ride too, but I didn't want to sit there for another hour or more since my back was achy. Even though restaurants can be noisy and the chairs sometimes uncomfy, it's nice to find a new venue for games ~ it's not practical for me to invite a large group of people to my place, especially now that Inky lives here. She's definitely not as social as Gatsby was! I'm not complaining; I love her exactly how she is.

I read Again the Magic by Lisa Kleypas and gave it four stars. It read like a Regency romance, but it is not one because it takes place mainly in the 1840s, and, strictly speaking, a Regency romance must be set in the period of 1811-1820 during the time of the Prince Regent, George IV. There can be a bit of leeway, but the '40s is too far. Anyway, I enjoyed the strong MC's and engaging plot. It’s so great to dive into a properly written book with past tense third person narration and no head hopping. ATM had loads of vivid description and witty dialog, and most of the side characters were pretty well rounded too. The themes of self-confidence and loyalty/ betrayal were threaded throughout, and I thought it was very well done. I didn't give it more than four stars though because, ultimately, it was just a romance without anything deeper; soon it will settle into the marshy recesses of my mind where I will forget most of it. Four stars from me is a great rating though! To get five, a book has to be something really special and memorable. 

Last weekend I began watching The Morning Show on Prime and am about five episodes in (there are four seasons, so if I keep going, it will take a while to finish). I liked it a lot at first, but now I'm getting a little bored. This coming Sunday I have tickets to see Downton Abbey, The Grand Finale, and I am stoked! That was one of my most favorite series ever.

Our heat wave is over, hurrah.

Cupcakes and Puzzles

I bought two Sprinkles cupcakes today, which are the first in a while. I ate the coconut one already, and it was delicious. I am saving the coffee cupcake for tomorrow. Earlier this week I visited Golden Spoon for a mini frozen yogurt cup ~ a treat after my Covid vax at CVS (hurrah for vaccines!). Initially, I was thrilled that they'd opened a Golden Spoon near me, but after I ate my tasty little cup of salted caramel with M&Ms, I realized that I like Tutti Frutti froyo better. Golden Spoon doesn't have tangy options like strawberry and mango, which you can get at Tutti Frutti, and they're so refreshing, especially combined with vanilla. I realize that I prefer a contrast in desserts, such as lemon bars, key lime pie, hot cinnamon candy, etc. It's all good, of course, but I am just saying my ideal is now a blend of flavors.

My friend gave me a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle ~ it's the famous Birth of Venus but with cats. I wasn't sure I should start it because I used to get so crazy obsessed, but I opened it Monday night and put together the edges. I've worked on it every night since and made decent progress. It helps that I have to cover it when I'm not at the table in order to protect it from Inky, so that keeps me from wandering back and doing it nonstop. I really do love puzzles and may get more ~ my Amazon cart now has several "for later." I'm not sure if I need to buy a special tray, since covering it with a towel weighed down by a few books is enough to keep it safe. So far, anyway. 

The "save for later" option has really helped with my OCD (which in turn is good news for my budget). It's a satisfying limbo between buying all the things I decide I need and forcing myself to try to forget about them (a hopeless task as that just makes me think about them more!). I say to myself, OK self, go and stuff your cart full of every kind of puzzle, but do not buy any right now. You can buy them later. As time goes by, I think, hmm, maybe I don't really want this one and that one, so eventually I end up with just a few. Or none! There are times I totally lose interest in something before I hit buy... not often, but it has happened.

I read Murder by Cheesecake this week. It's a Golden Girls cozy mystery written by Rachel Ekstrom Courage. It was fun, and since I don't normally read fan fiction, I thought I'd give it a whirl. I was not a super huge fan of the show, but I saw a few eps, so I was able to "hear" the characters' voices as I read the novel. If I hadn't been able to, I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much because it was very silly. The four women had equal roles (maybe a little more for Rose and Dorothy), and there was lots of quick and witty banter. I assume more of these books are coming out because this one says it's "Golden Girls #1" (released April 2025), but I think one is enough for me. I gave it three stars on Goodreads.

My migraines did not get that bad this week, and I am grateful for that. I did take sumatriptan a couple times, but it worked, and I never ended up at the horrible, throw-up stage. I was careful during the worst of the heat to stay indoors and hydrate more than usual. I also got decent sleep every night. My neck hurts from doing the puzzle though, and I need to be more careful with how I sit/ stand at the table. I plan to have a very chill weekend, with minimal exertion except for a few chores and a few hours of study for the upcoming notary exam. Sunday I may go play board games for a little while.

Laters.

Happy September

I canceled most of my long weekend plans due to the beastly heat wave, which worsens my migraines. I'm glad I did that because my headaches have been manageable indoors. Later today, my friend L is coming over to hang out/ play games, so that will be nice. I read a psychological thriller ~ They Never Learn by Layne Fargo. This flips the usual male serial killer motif to a woman, which is fun, although the plot gets more and more preposterous as the story goes on. I enjoy a killer who outwits the police as opposed to one who mainly depends upon law enforcement's indifference or incompetence. Alas, we can't have everything in one novel (usually). Since the story and characters mostly intrigued me, and I loved the ending, I gave it 3.5 stars in my reading journal (rounded up to 4.0 on Goodreads because you can't do halves there), which I began today to keep better track of the books I read. 

I recommend the psycho thriller The Devil Inside by Mark David Abbott. It's another turnabout type of story with an abused husband this time. He plots revenge upon his horrible wife, with a shocking twist at the end segueing into the sequel Flipped, which is told from the wife's POV. I gave Devil four stars and Flipped three. Flipped wasn't as fun because it was basically a retelling of Devil with a bit extra, but if you read Devil, you kinda have to read Flipped!

I started The Thursday Murder Club on Netflix the other day and found it too boring to finish despite the stellar cast. I did finish Rent a Groom (Prime), which is the tired old story of a couple "fake dating" (or engaged) due to family pressure or whatever, but then (surprise!) they fall for each other. There are some funny moments. A Perfect Match on Prime is another snoozer I managed to get through without DNFing. The premise is a bit different: a woman who runs a dating site matches herself with someone whom she decides is wrong for her because they're so different re pizza toppings or some shit, so she tries to tweak the site's algorithm to get her "perfect match," but as it turns out... you guessed it. I have noticed something weird about Prime romcoms (not the "famous" ones, but random romcoms I never heard of before with actors I don't know): there is like zero physical affection. I don't think the leads even kissed during the two movies I just mentioned! 

Back to Netflix. I watched the first episode of S2 of With Love, Meghan and enjoyed it. Idk what people expect from a show like this, but it was fun to see her whip up some delicious looking onion tarts and PB smores, plus dye a few scarves in pretty color combos. I will probably watch the whole season, as I did S1, though admittedly I sometimes fell asleep before the end of an ep. I also began the series On the Waterfront, which is a family/ crime drama about some peeps in Florida who start running drugs to save the family biz from bankruptcy. It's interesting enough to keep watching, but I stopped after one ep and will resume later, maybe tonight.

I DNF'd a whole bunch of books this week. There are so many TBR, and I have limited time (both daily and overall, given my age), that there is no point in wasting precious hours on ones that don't grab me from the start. I donated some physical books to my local library; others I plan to theme up in holiday gift baskets. As far as my Kindle, I bumped the unwanted ones off my TBR list by marking them read, as opposed to deleting them entirely (in case I change my mind), but I think that caused Goodreads to count them as read too, which I told it not to do. GR says I read 208 books this year, which is ridiculous because at most I finish 12 per month, including short stories and novellas, which GR counts as finished books. 

Whatever. I am trying to avoid obsessing over trivia and to quit deleting everything that irritates me in an impulsive purge. It's an ongoing process...

Dog Days

It hasn't been that hot here, relatively speaking, but I still feel the lethargy of August. I don't feel like doing much, going anywhere, or exercising (though the last one is normal for any month). I have no desire to get back to any of my WIPs, paint, or start anything new. I simply consume: books movies, social media. Let others produce the content because I CBA. Blogging is different. It's like keeping a diary, and I have no problem rambling on about nothing. I did 99 notarizations at work on Friday, and my hand has been killing me since. Plot twist! It's my left hand that hurts not my right, which is weird. Maybe it's the way I hold my notary journal open with my left hand while I write with my right? No clue.

Last week I read a silly thriller by Samara Cove called How to Make Your Neighbors Disappear. It's a fast, fun story of six neighbors in Silent Ridge Road who all have dark secrets and many of whom have no problem committing murders or other felonies to advance their goals. Nothing deep or meaningful here, just a bunch of creepy characters who slither through the pages. I enjoyed it. Three stars. I have DNF'd a bunch of other novels I downloaded on my Kindle because there are so many, and if even one thing irritates me about the writing, I am immediately out. 

I watched this supercute romcom on Prime Saturday afternoon ~ Match Me If You Can. I made sure to give it a thumbs-up in hopes that Prime will suggest more movies like this instead of the usual garbage they shovel at me (same goes for Netflix and Hulu). This is a 2023 film directed by Marian Yeager, the screenplay by Betsy Morris. It stars Georgina Riley as Kit Parsons, a supposedly undesirable "nerd," but she's actually beautiful and would have no problem finding a man in real life. Her counterpart, Riley Detamore (played by Wilson Bethel) is also an adorable, successful "nerd" whom plenty of women would probably like to date in reality. That's OK. These movies are fantasies, so I go with the flow. I enjoyed the premise of this one, which is that when Kit drunkenly and impulsively signs up for a dating site (owned by Riley), she receives a message that she has no matches and should get a dog instead. She then begins a campaign of trashing the dating company on her blog, goes viral (as it always happens with fictional blogs), and gets a restraining order from the dating company. She's set up by an unethical podcaster who tricks her into breaking the gag order, so she ends up spending a night in jail and going to court. The outcome is sweet and cute; Kit even gets revenge on her mean boss. The whole movie is just wriggly with happiness like a new puppy, and sometimes I just need that in my entertainment.

I also watched I Want You Back on Prime, which I also liked a lot! Two in a row, woohoo. Directed by Jason Orley, written by Isaac Aptaker and Elizabeth Berger, this one stars Jenny Slate and Charlie Day as two brokenhearted thirty-somethings (Emma and Peter) who work in the same building and are dumped out of the blue. They find each other sobbing on the stairs, become friends, and decide to team up to break up their exes' new relationships. Jenny tries to seduce Logan, who is now seeing Peter's ex Anne, while Peter hires Emma's ex Noah as his personal trainer, and as they hang out, Peter tries to get Noah to be unfaithful to his new girlfriend Ginny. The twists and turns are fun, and I really dig that all these folks seem "ordinary." They have regular jobs, and none are over the top beautiful. They're just people, trying to navigate changes in their lives, and coming to terms with the idea that maybe what they had before wasn't so great after all. Really well done.

That's all. Taking my friend L out for Thai food tonight as a belated birthday dinner. Looking forward to seeing her and having some yummies.