Thirteen on the Thirteenth

13 colorful donuts from AI

 

It’s so lovely when you find a Thursday 13 post full of happy thoughts and uplifting messages. This is not one of them.

1. Last Friday, FedEx said they attempted to deliver my box of cat food from Chewy, but they couldn’t get in. I had no record on my phone that they tried to contact me to buzz the gate open.

2. My friend Lisa came over on Saturday and tried to call me from the directory at the gate. I never received a notification on my phone. She texted instead, and I went downstairs to let her in. We tested the buzz, and my phone stayed silent.

3. On Sunday, I played around with the two apps that control the directory-to-phone system, and one of them wasn’t connecting to the internet. I had to delete and reinstall it. 

4. My daughter called, and my phone stayed silent. I only knew she had called when I received a missed call notification. I was so angry at my phone. No, I didn’t fling it at the wall and smash it to bits because I am mature now (but I thought about it).

5. I changed some settings, restarted my phone, and it seemed okay-ish. I called myself from the downstairs directory on Monday, and my phone rang like it should. My other daughter gave me a test call, and my phone rang like it should. I still don’t trust it though. 

6. In the meantime, FedEx left me a voicemail (I didn’t hear that call either, but my phone was in my purse in another room) and said they made a second attempt to deliver my Chewy box, but they still couldn’t get in. WTF? After three failed attempts, I have to go pick up the box myself in Anaheim. Ughhh!

7. Monday evening, I called the real person who left the FedEx voicemail, and he admitted that FedEx didn’t try to contact me when they showed up and saw the locked gate. (Forget the buzz, they obviously have my actual phone number.) Grrrr! So, the fact that my phone/ gate apps had been upfucked was irrelevant! He promised to send an alert to the area drivers that they had to call me when they returned on Tuesday. 

8. I was so annoyed that I contacted Chewy to complain about FedEx. They were sad and gave me a $25 credit, which is great, but it didn’t exactly solve the problem. I figure if enough people complain, Chewy might switch delivery companies or at least threaten to. Maybe they will. Pet food is Big Biz.

9. Instead of doing something productive like blogging, I looked up local pet places to see if I could just go buy Inky’s food myself and forget about Chewy and FedEx. Two nearby stores have Inky’s food, 12 cans per box just like I get through Chewy, but the catch is that if I don’t set up auto delivery (I wonder who the delivery company is, lol), the price will be higher. I decided that if I have to go pick up my Chewy box in Anaheim, I’ll pay more to buy locally next time and go to the damn store.

10. Don’t get excited, Big Biz haters. When I say local, I am talking about PetCo and PetSmart, not a mom and pop operation cooking up vats of kitty casserole in the kitchen. And I don’t want to hear about making pet food myself ~ even the vet said he doesn’t do it because it’s really complicated to get the exact perfect amino acid mix, and he doesn’t have time. Honestly, idk how cats ever survive in the wild; I guess little mousies have the perfect blend of amino acids for them. Nice of the mice to be such a convenient kitty food source.

11. On Tuesday, I planned to ask one of my coworkers to call my cell phone to see if it would ring when it’s an unknown number. (I unchecked the box that sends the unknowns to voicemail immediately, but I don’t trust it.) We were so busy at work though that I didn’t get the chance to bug someone. Naturally, at the peak of busy, my workstation stopped connecting to the main printer, so I had to restart everything. WHY DON’T THINGS WORK RIGHT?

12. Tuesday afternoon (cue the Moody Blues song) an alert from FedEx popped up on my phone. I instantly flew into a rage, but when I opened it, all it said was that they had delivered my Chewy box. There was a pic of it at my door. They had never buzzed or called! How did they magically get in on the third attempt? Welp, I suppose there are several possibilities, such as the door being opened by someone else. Whatever.

13. On a completely separate note (but not really), on Tuesday I contacted Spectrum to complain about their price increase, and they generously offered me a new and better internet plan for $15 less per month. (Yes, I managed to text with Spectrum while busy.) After I agreed, they said they were sending a new router and modem, and I had to return the old ones. Wednesday I received an alert that the Spectrum package is out for delivery. By fucking FedEx. Just kill me now.

Thirteen in Ten

Gatsby looking peeved (my photo)

1. I'm participating in John Holton's Writer's Workshop today by writing 10 sentences about 13 peeves, and yes this intro sentence counts, which means I have only 9 sentences left for the peeves.

2. It annoys me that there's cheese on everything lately ~ I mean, I like cheese, but I don't need it all the time, especially on a salad, and I wish the default was no cheese/ ask for cheese instead of the opposite.

3. I am turned off from romance novels that (a) are written in first person; (b) are written in present tense; and (c) use spilled food or drink as the "meet-cute" (this is 4 peeves now in 3 sentences for anyone who is keeping track aka me).

4. I'm mad at the incredibly stupid algorithm designer who decided that if I bought, say, an automatic cat feeder, then I need to see a million more automatic cat feeders everywhere I wander on the internet because obviously I want to buy a new automatic cat feeder every damn day.

5. I don't want a romance novel or romcom hero who is (a) grumpy or silent; (b) wallowing in pain from a lost love; or (c) rudely sarcastic, since none of those things are the least bit attractive.

6. It's irritating that all the gift wrap on Amazon is sold in these weirdly sized pieces that don't actually fit any normal gift box (this is peeve number 9, like the love potion).

7. Did Don Francisco's think that no one would notice if they made their coffee cans 2 ounces smaller and "didn't raise the price?"

8. I always stand to the side and wait a polite few seconds before stepping onto an elevator in case people are coming out, but now they're all texting or whatever oblivious thing and don't come out, so I end up stepping in, stepping back, and saying excuse me when it's their fucking fault. 

9. I'm so annoyed at how increasingly inconvenienced we are with all these jump-through-hoops ID methods (that are still imperfect) because apparently it's not possible to catch (and execute!) scammers, hackers, fraudsters, and all the other criminals who prey on us online.

10. As always, I hate litterbugs, particularly those who dump furniture and mattresses in our trash area instead of getting rid of it properly or fling their garbage on the ground because they're too damn lazy to open the gate and toss it in the bin (and that's 13 peeves in 10 sentences, woohoo, almost as good as 88 lines about 44 women).